


Best Of Me

by jaeparker



Category: Pierce the Veil
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-01-14 15:07:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1270969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeparker/pseuds/jaeparker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Jaime. Best friends for two years.<br/>Not that long, but they had what felt like decades of history.<br/>They've helped each other through hardships and fought battles together.<br/>they're each others rock.<br/>They joined a band about a year ago and toured for months until the band had a hard falling out and split.<br/>The only thing that stayed in tact was their friend ship.<br/>They both got a job at a nice guitar shop thanks to the manager, or Tony's boyfriend, James.<br/>The two floor boys lived pretty average lives up until the Fuentes brothers entered their shop</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Burst into flames, Scream in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if there's any errors. I wrote this on my tablet which likes to auto correct. Word count: 2360. My first Perrentes / Fuenciado Fic. I basically made it because this is the story I've always wanted to read, but can never find one like it... So I decided to write it myself. Sorry if you feel it's too short or too long.  
> Thanks for reading!

Tony took in a ball of air before answering his mother,

“I don’t know, mama. My manager said that I am steady on the pay roll. I can’t ruin that by going back to school, now can I?”

Tony’s mother sighed and responded,

“But mijo, your job won’t last forever, and we both know you won’t want it to either. If you go back to school, the possibilities for you are endless. Don’t limit yourself, son. I only want what’s be-“

“I know, mama. I know. I’ll think about it.” Tony responded with a sigh and readjusted his backpack.

Tony’s mother smiled at him and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Have a good day, mijo. I love you.” She said and placed a loving kiss on his cheek.

“You too, mom.” Tony replied with a smile and walked out of the door.

Jaime was already waiting for Tony in his car. Tony climbed into the car.

“What was the hold up, turtle?” Jaime asked, pulling out of Tony’s driveway.

Tony sighed and started putting his name tag on in the mirror.

“My mom keeps bugging me to go back to school.”

“Really? Mine too.”

“Jaime, la música no va a pagar las cuentas!” Jaime said, speaking in a tone clearly mocking his mother.

Tony giggled at the translation and finished fixing his name tag.

“Pin or magnets?” Jaime asked, referring to his name tag as they pulled up at the employee parking at a guitar shop.

“I went with pin because I lost my magnets. Go with magnets. Definitely.” Tony replied, getting out of the car. Jaime followed quickly behind him.

Tony held the door open for Jaime as he was still adjusting his name tag.

The bell on the top of the door rang as the two entered the shop.

Tony yawned as he clocked in for his morning shift. Jaime giggled and clocked in right after him.

“Didn’t sleep well, turtle?” Jaime teased.

Tony shook his head and attempted to rub the sleep from his eyes.

“Becca kept asking me to stay up and watch freaking Hannah Montana with her” Tony grumbled  
as he began prepping the shop for opening.

Jaime picked up a rag and window cleaner, and walked to the windows to start working.

“You don’t have to lie, Tone. We all know you loved it.”

“Live for it,” Tony responded sarcastically.

“When does James come in today?” Jaime asked. The shop was usually empty when they had morning shifts, but James, their manager, was always here.

Tony looked around and shrugged.

“Not sure, let me check.” Tony walked behind the front counter where the first register was and picked up the clipboard to check todays schedules.

Tony’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“That’s weird, he’s not in today,” Tony began, as he flipped to see the rest of the week.

“He’s not in for two weeks, what the hell?”

“Are you serious?” Jaime asked, walking towards Tony.

“Yeah! Look! He doesn’t have a shift until the end of this month, oh…. And he’s closing.” Tony said, showing Jaime the schedules.

“That’s weird….” Jaime said.

“I know… but no other manager is scheduled for that time either…. I don’t understand…” Tony replied.

That’s when they noticed the bright pink memo note stuck on a paper that was under the clipboard, on the counter.

Tony picked it up and Jaime read it over his shoulder

‘Sorry boys, managers will be on leave for about a month to help with training interns. I trust you guys with the store. Don’t ruin that. Yes, you’re getting paid to be your own boss for a month. You’re welcome. Anyway, do what you normally do, just be the man this time. Be responsible, boys. x James  
P.S. Tony, I’ll call you when I can. But I’ll be busy mostly, babe. I’m sorry. ‘

Was all the note read. No further explanation.

Tony sighed at the last part and crumpled the note in his hand.

Jaime smiled at him and pat his back.

James was Tony’s boyfriend of four months. James was why Tony and Jaime even had their jobs at the shop.

And because the shop had three managers but no floor employees.

Knowing that Tony couldn’t talk to his boyfriend for potentially a whole month, shattered him.

“Sorry, bro. But hey, shop opens in five. We got shit to do.”

Tony nodded in response to Jaime and they finished cleaning up in preparation for opening.

Tony was wiping the last counter with mix tapes clean when he said suddenly

“Don’t you find it weird that they left so suddenly? Like, without telling anyone? I mean, we are the only people that work here… why didn’t they tell us they’d be gone in person?”

Jaime sighed and shrugged.

“Sounds like you’re more upset over James leaving than anyone else,”

“Well yeah. He’s my fucking boyfriend, who just left. Without telling me. Who does that?” Tony asked, throwing the rag he was using back into the back room.

“Sorry, turtle. You two can talk it out when he gets back I guess…” Jaime replied, taking the last of the cleaning supplies to the closet that they belonged in.

“I don’t know, Himes. It’s a bit off-putting…. I mean, what if-“Tony began, panic clouding his eyes.

“Tony, don’t! You know what thinking like that does to you. Have faith in James. He’s not cheating on you, and if he is, he’s the one at fault here. Okay? Not you. He’s the asshole if he is. Just, no more thinking like that, okay?” Jaime said.

Tony gave a small smile and nodded. He pulled Jaime into a hug.

“I don’t want you getting sick again, Tone. Not after just getting better…” Jaime said truthfully.

The truth was Tony had been recovering from nasty demons.

These demons took Tony as their victim since he was a mere 14 years old. Self-deprecating thoughts plagued his mind for as long as he could remember.

Self-deprecation came with their good friends, anorexia, bulimia, and self-harm.

Jaime had met Tony when he was his worst self. Red and white scars littered Tony’s body everywhere. Along his arms, thighs and gut. Little slits that Tony often wore shamefully.

Jaime met Tony when Tony was at his most vulnerable

Jaime met Tony two years earlier in some random bar.

The whiskey burned even worse coming up.

Tony threw up all he could.

Tony threw up all the filth.

Tony threw up what felt like all his impurities.

Tony threw up all his imperfections.

Tony threw up the little amounts of alcohol that currently resided in his stomach.

That’s all Tony could throw up, there sure as hell wasn’t any food in there.

Tony spat into the bowl and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

Tony sunk to the cold ground beside the toilet.

He sighed and stared at the stall walls in disgust.

Mainly disgust in himself.

Tony looked down at his stomach and pinched the rolls that formed when he sat.

The voices remained so loud, so obnoxious.

“You fat piece of shit,”

“you’re so disgusting,”

'"Look at that, all that filth."

“You’re disgusting. No wonder he left you.”

“I mean look at you,”

Tears began to blur Tony’s vision as he got back on his knees.

He turned back to face the toilet bowl and did what he was too good at.

He shoved his two fingers down his throat until he vomited everything up.

“That can’t be it. Come on,” Tony whispered as he spat into the bowl and tried again.  
Nothing.

“Come on you fat piece of shit, I know you’ve got something in you.” Tony said, louder this time.

He was alone in the bathroom so what difference did it make.

He jammed his fingers to the back of his throat, but felt nothing but a burning sensation.

“Come on!” he screamed. He tried again.

Nothing.

Tony crumbled, clutching the toilet seat. Sobs began racking his body.

Until he heard a soft knock.

“Y-You alright, man?” said the voice on the other side if the stall door.

Tony flinched at the sound and sat beside the toilet again.

He quickly wiped his tears and sniffles.

“Yeah,” he said with his voice groggy, clearing his throat, “Yeah, I’m fine.” He said clearer this time.

“You sure? You don’t sound so good, man.” The voice persisted.

Tony sighed. “Yes, now please leave me alone.”

“Not until you come out of there.” The stranger said.

Tony chuckled and shook his head.

“You’ll be waiting a long while then, bud.”

“I got time.” The stranger said.

Tony saw from the crack under the stall that they sat on the floor across the stall door.

Tony sighed and debated on what he should do. He decided to show his appreciation, then immediately leave the bar.

Tony stood up slowly, his legs nearly buckling in under him. He leaned on the stall wall for support.

Tony flushed the toilet with his foot and turned to face the door.

He took in a ball of air and braced himself. He slid the lock on the door and opened it.

The stranger stood up and he immediately went pale with fear.

“You see, I’m fine!” Tony persisted, trying to carry himself out of the stall. His legs felt like lead and Tony almost immediately fell over.

The stranger caught him and said,

“Dude, I don’t care what you say. I’m talking you to a hospital.”

“No…” Tony weakly protested, his eyes began to feel heavy as well. His whole body betraying him.

“Yes. You’re not okay, dude.”

“I’m f-fine...” Tony tried getting himself up, but he began to shut down completely.

“Dude, let me help you. You’re definitely way too sick to get out of here yourself. I’m calling an ambulance.” The stranger said.

“N-no! Let me go!” Tony tried wiggling out of his grasp but to no avail.

“Just hang on, man. I got you.” The stranger said softly and pulled out his cell phone.

Tony could vaguely hear the stranger talking on the phone. The voice became muffled and his eyelids became heavier.

Tony used the last of his strength to reach out his hand. The stranger quickly took it and said

“You’ll be alright buddy, stay with me.” That was the last thing Tony heard before becoming  
engulfed in black.

Tony shook the flashback away and a chill went down his spine.

“You alright, Tone?” Jaime asked him, placing a hand on Tony’s back.

Tony nodded,

“Yeah, fine.” He looked at Jaime whose eyes were filled with concern.

“Seriously, I’m fine. I won’t go back to that, Hime. I promise.” Tony assured with a smile.  
Jaime returned the smile and pat Tony on the back.

“Good.” Jaime responded simply. Tony’s watch beeped and he looked down at it.

“It’s time.” Tony said, walking to the door.

He flipped the sign from ‘CLOSED’ to ‘OPEN’.

The two of them sat talking about little nothings waiting for customers to pile in.

The shop was pretty popular. People came all the time to buy instruments, accessories, records, CD’s and music tapes. Basically, anything music related was sold at the shop.  
It was reasonably priced with great customer service, and was the only place to buy instruments in this part of San Diego.

So, they made a decent profit from time to time.

Tony adjusted the collar on his uniform when he heard the bell ring. Signaling that a customer was in.

That was quick. Tony thought.

“Welcome to Claremont Guitar center. Can I help you with anything?” Tony heard Jaime say.

Tony was grateful that he worked with someone like Jaime, someone willing to talk to strangers.

Tony’s lack of self-confidence also gave him crippling social anxiety, making it hard to even ring someone up.

If he was in the situation where he had to speak to someone, he never made eye contact and always ended up calling James to finish for him.

James and Jaime understood the handicap and always helped him the best they could.

Tony turned to see the customer.

“Just looking around, thanks” One said. It was two. Two customers.

One much taller than the other. They both had dark, long, brown hair hidden under beanies. The shorter of the two wanders to look at the strings.

The taller looking for practice drum sticks.

Two friends in a band looking for a break. Tony thought. He knew the feeling all too well.

Tony always dreamed of being a part of a band that toured around the world.

He knew he wanted to more than anything. He wanted a band that he could see as family. He wanted a family that could play for screaming fans. He wanted to inspire kids the way his favorite bands inspired him.

But he was just a mediocre 21 year old guitarist with only one friend. So he learned to let that dream go.

Tony sighed at the thought and rested his head in his hand.

“You alright, man?” an unfamiliar voice asked.

Tony looked up to see the taller customer looking at him. Tony’s eyes went wide when he took a good look at the customer.

He was a tall, lanky guy. Tattoos littered his arms, but he only seemed to have a couple more than Tony.

Tony admired his lip ring and Medusa piercing for a moment or two before he realized he was staring.

Tony shook the thoughts out of his head and apologized.

“Excuse me,” Tony said softly that the customer almost didn’t hear him.

Tony left from behind the counter and walked to the break room in the back.

“Himes, watch the floor for a minute, please.” Tony whispered to Jaime before exiting the floor.  
Jaime nodded and stayed put.

Not here, not now. Tony thought. No. Come on. Calm down, Tony.

Calm down. Just breathe…

Tony said softly, trying to calm himself down. He probably made himself look like a complete fool in front of him.

Tony’s breathing became uneasy and Tony tried to calm himself down

Oh don’t you dare. No panic attacks. Not here. Not now.


	2. Take a breath and let the rest come easy

Breathe, Tony. Breathe.

Tony began taking in sudden and short breaths, his heart rate evidently speeding up.

You're not getting any better, Tony. Come on, just breathe!

Tony was internally screaming at himself.

Calm down, Tony. Calm down, just breathe.

He took fistfuls of his hair and tugged hard. His breath wasn't getting anymore steady.

He loosened the collar on his button-up uniform shirt and ripped it open, exposing his chest for air.

His heart was thumping fast and his palms were beginning to sweat excessively.

He felt his throat tighten as he sunk to the ground in defeat.

He'd just have to sit through this one again.

Tears began to swell up in his eyes as his breath became more and more sharp and sudden.

Hot tears fell faster from his eyes and dripped down his face.

He ran his hands over his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair.

Tony gently placed his hands around his neck, trying to calm his breathing down.

Tears spilled faster and faster, breathing became more eradicated.

No. No. Calm down, It's fine.

Tony's stomach began to churn and tears slid down his face faster than ever.

He squeezed his eyes shut and winced in pain as he tugged on his hair some more.

No, calm down. Come on, you got this Tony.

Slowly, but surely, Tony's breathe slowed down. He could no longer feel his heart thumping through his chest and in his throat.

Breathing became much easier and the tears finally had stopped.

Tony wiped his face and took in a couple deep breaths, just for insurance.

He heard a soft knock on the door.

"You alright, turtle?" Jaime's familiar voice echoed.

Tony stood and dusted his uniform off. and re-buttoned his shirt

Tony took in one last deep breath and opened the door to meet Jaime's worried gaze.

"Yeah, fine. How long was I?" Tony asked. That panic attack, to him, was lifetimes long. One of his mild ones, but one of the long ones.

Jaime looked down at his watch.

"Only about five, Why? Are you okay?" Jaime asked again.

"Yes, Hime. I'm fine. I swear. It was just another panic attack." Tony said softly, returning to his spot behind the counter in the front of the store. Jaime followed him without another word, not wanting to pry.

The two customers were still in the shop, still browsing for little nothings.

Their attention was still on the merchandise in front of them, and Tony was grateful for that.

Even if they were eavesdropping, Tony was glad they were decent enough to play it off.

But Tony was truly okay. Right now, at least.

Sure, that attack was tough, but he was breathing fine and felt okay.

Tony felt back to normal. Well, As "back-to-normal" as Tony could be.

"Are you sure you two don't need help with anything?" Jaime asked, turning his attention to the silent customers.

He hadn't heard a peep from them since they walked in.

"Yeah, actually," The smaller one began, turning towards Tony and Jaime.

"Any records you two can recommend my brother and I?" He asked kindly, flashing a welcoming smile.

"Y-You sure?" Tony asked quietly. They technically weren't allowed to bestow opinions to customers.

"Yeah, you two seem experienced," He replied, eyeing the two. "We trust you."

Tony looked at the taller customer who just shrugged and nodded slightly.

Jaime quickly made his way over to the records where the two customers were standing.

Tony silently sighed and followed behind Jaime.

Tony ran his fingers along the tops of the vinyl slip covers and smiled softly.

"What do you listen to, Tony?" The smaller customer asked.

Tony looked at him confused,

How did he know- hey, idiot, you have a name tag...

Tony shook the dumb thought out of his head and chuckled softly.

"AFI is my favorite," He replied, gently picking the all too familiar record from the alphabetized stack of vinyls.

"We also have cassette or CD Versions of most of this stuff, so... Let me know and I'll get it for you," Tony said, handing Vic the album The Art of Drowning by AFI.

The customer looked over the album art and nodded. He turned to Jaime and smiled.

"You, Jaime? What do you like?"

"Same as Tony, really." Jaime replied, pulling out the only other AFI record there, Sing the Sorrow.

"Nice. We'll definitely check these out."

"Did you want to stick with vinyl or did you want a CD?" Tony asked.

"What's recommended?" The taller one asked, fiddling with two display drum sticks.

"W-well... I prefer CD. I mean, digital is always the best sound quality."

"I agree." The taller smiled in agreement.

Tony smiled and looked down at his shoes.

"I feel like I've seen you guys before, but I can't remember where..." The other said, eyeing the two in deep thought.

Tony looked at Jaime for a reaction, maybe he had known them.

Jaime looked back at Tony and shrugged.

"I don't know... We've worked here for a while... are you guys regulars?" Jaime suggested.

The smaller shook his head and eyes them, still trying to pin point it.

Tony looked to see the taller was also in deep thought.... He looked at Tony closer before saying suddenly,

"Trigger my Nightmare!" He said, snapping his finger.

"Oh yeah! That's where. You guys from Trigger my Nightmare?" The other asked,

Jaime chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah, we didn't know anyone knew who we were." He confessed.

"Yeah, I saw your last San Diego show, we were on right after you. You guys were awesome!" The smaller said, his smile spreading.

"Thanks, I didn't know there was an act after us. You two in a band?" Jaime said,

The customer shrugged.

"Just Mike and I at the moment. Not really a proper ensemble, but we do alright."

"Mike," Tony said softly.

The taller customer put his hand out for Tony to shake,

"That's me," He said with a friendly smile.

"Tony," Tony said, shaking his hand quickly. Jaime shook his hand as well and introduced himself.

"And I'm Vic, Mikey's 'big' brother," He said air-quoting 'big' in reference to being much shorter than him.

Tony chuckled and shook Vic's hand, Jaime doing the same.

"You guys any good? The band, I mean," Jaime asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Vic shrugged, "We like to think so..I mean it is just us two doing the drums, the vocals, lead and rhythm guitar, keys, bass, etc.. But we managed a whole album, so we're alright..."

"All of that, with just the two of you?" Tony asked, his eyes wide. He had been in a full band and they couldn't stand two hours of preforming, let alone months of recording an album.

"Vic mostly, he did everything that wasn't drums... I helped with some guitar... But it was mostly him." Mike said.

"Wait, wait... Whole album... are we talking an E.P demo, or ...?" Jaime asked.

"Full length album. 11 Tracks Two singles." Vic said simply.

"What?! Indie record, or?" Tony asked.

Both Mike and Vic shook their heads and said,

"Equal Vision Records," simultaneously.

Jaime and Tony looked at each other with the most priceless shock expression.

"Album title," Tony demanded, making his was to the CD rack behind them.

"You guys have it, actually, A Flair For The Dramatic," Mike said.

Tony ran his fingers along the spine of CD cases until he hit the F's. He smiled and fished The case with 'A Flair For The Dramatic' Written in beautiful scripture on the spine. out of the rack.

He looked down at it, and smiled.

"This is all you two?" Tony said, holding up the CD.

"That's all us," Vic replied.

"Let me see that," Jaime said, snatching it out of Tony's hand.

"Pierce the veil consists of two brothers from San Diego, Mike and Vic Fuentes," Jaime read aloud the sticker the shop put on the CD to promote the local band.

"You guys are kind of a big deal, then?" Tony asked, taking the CD back into his hands.

Vic shrugged again and shook his head slightly.

"Pierce the Veil is just two brothers playing garbage from their garage." Vic said.

"Better than Trigger My Nightmare," Tony said softly.

Mike chuckled,

"You guys not doing so well?" He asked.

Tony looked at Jaime and they both laughed.

"Trigger My Nightmare no longer exists," Jaime admitted.

"What? Why?" Vic asked.

"They were such assholes," Tony said, still giggling.

"They were so cocky, even though they were shit," Jaime said, laughing too, "They begged us to stay, and when we did, they ended up splitting.."

Tony covered his mouth as he continued to laugh.

Once he calmed down, he cleared his throat.

"Well, maybe you two could jam with us sometime," Vic suggested, "Mike and I already know you two are talented, we're both in need of bands.. unless you two are..."

Jaime looked at Tony who just shrugged.

Tony didn't know if he wanted to join another band. The dream was still there, the ambition would never leave, but he still wasn't sure.

"I'm cool with it if you are, turtle." Jaime told him.

Tony sighed and looked down at the CD in his hands.

"How about this, We'll give this a listen," Tony said, holding up the CD, "And if we like what we hear, we'll get back to you."

"Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you guys are great and all, but Tony and I need to be careful about the bands we join from now on.." Jaime agreed.

"Fair?" Tony asked softly.

Vic and Mike looked at each other and nodded.

"Fair," They said, again, simultaneously.

Tony smiled and nodded.

"Alright, cool." Tony walked to behind the counter and wrote his name and ID # on a sticky note and stuck it on top of the CD. That was the procedure for an employee purchasing store merchandise.

He tucked the CD under the clipboard.

Vic and Jaime were still chatting about other local bands and what not. Mike slowly approached Tony at the counter,

"So, one more question," Mike said,.

Tony swallowed hard, trying not to allow his anxiety to take over him again.

You did fine, Tony. You can talk to him alone. It's fine. You're fine

"Y-Yeah?" Tony asked.

"Why did Jaime call you turtle?" Mike asked, a smile spreading across his face.

Tony looked down and blushed.

He shrugged and scratched the back of his neck.

"I've always been really shy, obviously. And I really like teenage mutant ninja turtles, well... turtles in general. It fits, so... turtle is a nick name that stuck..." Tony explained.

Mike nodded and Vic approached the counter with the two AFI vinyls Jaime and Tony handed him earlier,

"That's adorable," Vic said teasingly, referring to the nickname story. Tony blushed again.

Vic placed the two vinyls along with a set of new picks on the counter,

"Will that be it?" Tony asked, getting behind the cash register.

"Uhh.." Vic looked at Mike, 'You getting anything, Mikey?"

Mike placed a set of new practice sticks on the counter.

"That it?" Tony asked again.

Vic nodded and pulled out his wallet.

Tony scanned every item and read out the total

"Is that alright?" Tony asked, referring to the total amount.

Vic nodded and handed him a credit card.

"Credit or debit?"

"Credit"

"Can I see ID?" Tony asked, credit card procedures.

Vic showed him his ID from the transparent sleeve in his wallet.

Tony nodded and swiped the plastic.

The transaction was complete and Tony handed Vic the receipt.

"Sign here." Tony said, handing Vic a pen and pointing to the bottom line on the store copy receipt.

Vic signed it and slid it back towards Tony.

"Thank you." Tony said as he began bagging the items.

"I'd just hold the vinyls if I were you, and I put the receipt in the bag. Any used items can be exchanged but not refunded." Tony said, handing Vic the bag and the two vinyls.

"Thank you." Vic nodded and took his things.

"Well, I see you guys around, then..." Mike said to Tony and Jaime.

"Yeah, I guess." Jaime said and Tony nodded with a smile.

"I'll leave my number if you guys want to make plans or whatever," Vic said.

Tony handed him a pen and a sticky note.

Vic wrote his number and his name on it and slid the pen back.

"Alright. It was great meeting you two." Vic said, turning to leave the store.

Mike waved to them and followed.

"You too," Jaime called after. Tony just waved to them as they exited the store.

The store was quiet again.

Just Jaime and Tony.

Usually, that's how they liked it.

But they had to admit, The Fuentes brothers provided wonderful company.

"So..." Tony said, turning to Jaime and shoving his hands in his pockets.

"What?" Jaime asked.

"What did you think?" Tony began, "Will we be needing to keep this?" he finished, plucking the sticky note with Vic's number on it, and flashing it to Jaime.

Jaime smiled and shrugged, "I don't know, keep it just in case."

"You never know," Jaime said, heading to the employee restroom, "They could become millionaires one day,"

Tony chuckled and shook his head, "So could we," He hollered back as Jaime disappeared into the restroom.

Tony looked down at the sticky not in his hand. He fiddled with it in his fingers and smiled.

He stuck it to the side of the cash register, where it would stay.

Tony picked up the copy of 'A Flair For The Dramatic' and read the track list.

"You think they're any good?" Tony heard Jaime asked as he entered the floor.

Tony shrugged, "Never even heard of them," he replied.

"Me either," Jaime said, taking the CD into his hands.

"I think they went to the same high school as me, not sure though."

"I don't think so, you'd remember that face." Tony blurted sub-consciously.

"What face.." Jaime asked, picking up on Tony's words.

"Nothing, forget it." Tony said quickly to face away from Jaime.

"Don't lie to me, turtle..." Jaime said, the tease hinting in his voice. Tony felt his cheeks heat up like crazy.

"You thought one of them was cute, Tony... I know it.." Jaime continued to tease, turnin Tony to face him. Jaime began poking Tony's flushed cheeks.

Tony swatted Jaime's hand away and buried his face in his hands.

"Tell me turtle.... Which one..." Jaime prodded.

"No, forget it." Tony said, his cheeks still an alarming shade of red.

"Tony, tell me!"

"I have a boyfriend, you know!" Tony reminded Jaime.

"So?! James has nothing to do with the intense sexual attraction you felt for one of those boys." Jaime said.

Tony playfully punched him in the arm

"Shut up! I did not!"

"Tell me which one, turtle. No, let me guess," Jaime said, pretending to be deep in thought.

"It was Mike wasn't it?"

Tony blushed worse than ever and hid his face again.

"No," he said, his voice muffled from his hands covering his face.

"It was Mike," Jaime teased, stringing out the long 'I' sound in Mike's name.

"Now you're definitely going to jam with them, hoping you can jam with Mike!"

"Shut up!" Tony yelled.

Jaime laughed and shook his head.

"Just teasing, turtle. Don't go breaking hearts, though. At least break up with James before trying your luck with Mikey, alright?" Jaime teased one last time with a wink.

Tony shook his head.

"Don't be stupid," He replied with a chuckle.

Jaime laughed and pat Tony on the back.

"Get back to work, asshole."


	3. There's always hope for the willing

It was nearing their lunch break, and Jaime was currently helping a women choose a guitar for her son for his birthday.

It had been hours since the Fuentes' had left. And only about five customers had entered since.

Slow day, Tony thought.

Tony stood at the counter and was doodling on old invoice sheets. He looked down at his watch and sighed.

Ten minutes.

Six Hundred seconds...

Tony subconsciously starting humming to 'Miss Murder' By AFI and continued to doodle.

He sat there doodling turtles and R2s for a minute or two. He sat humming until the bell chimed, indicating a customer had arrived.

"Welcome To Clairemont Guitar Center. Can I help you with anything?" Tony asked slightly louder than a whisper, not looking up from his doodles.

"Yeah, I cracked the neck on my Fender, want to get a new one..." The voice said.

Tony looked up and nodded. He mentally sighed, because it usually takes up to an hour for someone to choose a goddamn guitar.

Tony led the customer to their selection of Fender's and began the painstaking process of selecting a new guitar.

-

Tony ripped the receipt from it's printer and handed it to the customer with a smile.

"All Fender's are final sale. No exchanges, returns, refunds, or exceptions." Tony recited, handing the customer his purchase.

"Alright, thanks!" The customer said with a kind smile, and left the shop.

Tony sighed and covered his face with his hands. He was absolutely exhausted after that.

It had taken the customer just shy of two hours, a whole Hour and 45 minutes to pick a new fucking guitar and Tony was beat.

"Come on, turtle. We need to get some food in you." Jaime said, patting Tony on the back.

Even though Jaime was done with what he had to do before his lunch break started, he decided it was only right to wait for Tony before having lunch,

"You could've eaten nearly two hours ago, Hime." Tony said, looking up at him.

"Yeah, alone... What fun would that be?" Jaime said, twirling his keys in his hand.

Tony smiled and shook his head. He slung his backpack over his shoulder and slipped the "Out for lunch" sign in the window.

Standard procedures when only Jaime and Tony had the floor. Standard procedures that they had never had to take before.

Tony locked the front door and the two were on their way to pick up a quick lunch.

They were driving down a strip of fast food and take-out options when Jaime asked,

"You still vegan?"

"Just vegetarian for right now." Tony said with a sigh.

Tony had always gone from vegan to vegetarian practically his whole life.

Personally, because he hated the cruelty animals went through just to feed those who ate meat. And Tony wanted absolutely no part in harming animals.

"Alright, what do you want, then?" Jaime asked.

"Pasta.. Jaime ..please." Tony begged and bounced in the passenger seat.

"Alright, alright..." Jaime said as he pulled into an Italian take-out place.

Tony got his wallet from his backpack and practically skipped into the restaurant.

Jaime chuckled and shook his head as he promptly followed.

Tony ordered plain pasta with tomato sauce and Jaime got a small pizza.

They paid and sat, waiting for their food to be ready.

The Italian restaurant was pretty busy, chatter filled the shop.

Tony smiled and said, "I always wanted to work in a cafe or restaurant, truly."

"And you work at a guitar shop..." Jaime teased...

"Shut up... What did you want to grow up to be when you were younger?" Tony asked.

Jaime thought for a second,

"I don't remember, to be honest. Doctor, maybe." He answered with a shrug.

Tony rolled his eyes, "And you work at a guitar shop..." he mimicked Jaime's voice.

"What would be fun working in a cafe, anyway?" Jaime asked.

"What would be fun being a doctor?"

"I asked you first..."

Tony shrugged, "The atmosphere... People chatting and laughing, enjoying food and drinks that you got them. Having a place that is your own and making it your own. Like a second home with a big family.." Tony explained, the grin on his face growing.

"I get it," Jaime said, nodding.

Their names were called, indicating their orders were finished.

They stood, got their food, thanked the counter employees, and began walking out.

"You never told me why you wanted to be a doctor...."

Jaime shrugged and got his keys from his pocket.

"Doesn't every kid dream of helping people somehow someday?"

They leave the restaurant and hop into Jaime's car.

The car ride was silent, but not awkward in the slightest.

Tony was still processing Jaime's words and a way to respond to them.

Tony knew that Jaime had gone through a lot of shit, too.

Depression and self-loathing took Jaime as a victim just as it did to Tony.

Jaime never appreciated himself, and that killed Tony.

Jaime never loved himself like Tony loved him.

Tony loved him like family.

Tony loved him for saving his life.

The car came to a halt as they parked back into the employee spot in the front of The Guitar shop.

Before either of them opened their door, Tony finally spoke up,

"If it makes you feel any better... You've helped me.... You've saved my life like no doctor could... And I appreciate that.. And I appreciate you..." Tony said genuinely.

Jaime smiled at him and pinched Tony's cheek playfully.

"Thanks, turtle." Was all Jaime could say, really.

Tony nodded and gathered his things. He hopped out of Jaime's car and unlocked the front of the shop.

Jaime followed behind and closed the shop door behind him, leaving the sign reading they were out for lunch.

This was how the two spent their lunch breaks. Eating in the front of the shop, but still preventing customers from entering.

The two took seats and sat at the front counter, unpacking the hot food from their take-out bags.

"Oh my god, I am starving.." Tony said, as the steam of his pasta hit him.

"For an atheist, you sure say 'oh my god' a lot.." Jaime teased, and began eating his food.

Tony rolled his eyes and hungrily began devouring his pasta.

Jaime smiled as he watched Tony eat.

Tony looked up at him and was confused. He finished chewing his food and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Tony asked,

"Two years," Jaime began, "I've known you for two years...And I've never seen you eat like that..."

Tony shook his head and took another forkful.

One he finished chewing, he said,

"I was dealing with eating disorders, you shit-heap," He said playfully.

"I know... And now you're healthy again. And I'm proud of you.." Jaime said genuinely.

"Thanks, Jaime." Tony said with a smile.

"So am I," Tony finished and continued eating.

"You can understand why I would worry though, right?" Jaime asked, seriously.

Tony sighed and nodded, taking another bite. Talking about his eating disorders always made Tony feel sick.

Tony hated that dark time he put himself through and whenever he thought about it, it made him physically ill.

He would never escape it. He could never escape it.. The memories of the nasty demon would always haunt him.

But, Jaime pulled him through those dark times, and Tony was better now... He knew that..

He knew he couldn't let Jaime down... He was finally getting better, and he couldn't ruin that.

So, even though Tony had genuinely lost his appetite, he had to finish his food, or Jaime would be suspicious he had relapsed.

"I understand, Hime. But I am better now, I promise." Tony said.

"And I believe you, I really do. But I will always worry, okay?"

Tony nodded.

"I understand, too. Thank you, Jaime. But I am better now. I've been clean for nearly a whole year!" Tony said, grinning. He genuinely was proud of himself.

Granted, he wasn't eating nearly as much as a guy his height or weight usually would... But he was eating, and was keeping it in. He was still in the process of a full recovery, and he was still proud of himself.

No purging and no starving for nearly and entire year. Tony was proud of himself, and damn it, so was Jaime.

"I know, turtle! I am so proud of you! It's just... that shit is scary, you know..."

"I know..." Tony sighed, his face dropping.

"Abrupt subject change... But I'm curious..." Jaime said, packing away the garbage from his finished lunch.

"Yeah?" Tony said, doing the same to his waste.

"Should we give this a listen?" Jaime asked, waving the copy of A Flair For The Dramatic.

Tony grinned and threw their trash into the break room bin.

"Pop it in," Tony replied, nodding towards the CD player that constantly played music like a soundtrack in the background of the shop.

 

Like a rush shot through you.....

 

Everyone is watching you...

 

Vic's soft voice vibrated throughout the shop. Sending chills down both Tony and Jaime's spines.

 

Tony grinned as he grew to like what he was hearing.

 

"Holy shit.." he heard Jaime as the song, Chemical Kids and Mechanical Brides, swung through its second verse.

 

"That's a voice and a half..." Tony said.

 

The two sat through the rest of the song in silence. Just listening.

 

Once the song was over, Tony looked up at Jaime who looked back at Tony.

 

"That was... something...." Jaime said.

 

"To say the least... what did you think?"

 

"It was... different..."

 

"I know, I love it. " Tony smiled wide as the next song, Currents Convulsive, began playing.

 

The opening chords instantly made Tony's grin grow larger. He closed his eyes so he could listen, really listen.

 

Congratulations, break a leg tonight...

 

What a shame I heard the understudy died under the knife...

 

The song played while the two again, admired in silence.... until the chorus started.

 

I don't think you'll ever want to love me.

 

You'd better listen to your doctor, doctor..

 

"These guys are awesome. I got to admit." Jaime said, lowering the volume of the stereo.

 

The shop had resume its business hours in two minutes and the boys had to prepare.

 

Tony smiled and began wiping the counter clean.

 

"Keep it playing, I like it. " Tony said as Jaime was going to change the disk in the stereo.

 

"So do I. Talented guys. We definitely need to give them a call..."

 

"Agreed"

 

The shop resumed business hours only a minute late.

 

Tony had gotten anxious that they'd get into huge trouble for that whole minute, and decided to resume doodling to calm the nerves.

 

Luckily, they didn't have a customer for a couple of minutes.

 

Well, two customers for that matter.

"Welcome to Clairemont Guitar Center. Can I help you with anything?" Tony recited, not looking up from his doodles.

"Hey! I see you got the album rolling!" Tony heard the familiar voice.

Vic. It was Vic

Vic and Mike had returned to the shop.

Tony looked up and smiled at them.

"Yeah, i love it so far." Tony said softly.

"Me too! Great album, guys! Really." Jaime said with a smile, his dimples becoming ever-so-prevalent.

"Glad you guys like it... " Mike said, smiling at Tony.

Tony caught Mike's glanced and looked down at his doodles, avoiding eye contact.

"So what can we help you with?" Jaime asked.

They obviously came back for a reason. Not just to catch up to the past four hours they had been gone.

"We wanted to get CD versions of the vinyls we got today." Vic said.

"Did you want to exchange them or purchase the CD copies separately?" Tony asked, looking for the store copy of Vic's receipt.

"Uh, purchase separately.." Vic said as he dug through his wallet.

Tony found the receipt and said,

"Hime, can you get CD copies of Sing the Sorrow and The Art Of Drowning please?"

"Yeah, we have them in the back, right?"

"They should be on the shelves, actually."

"Alright." Jaime went to retrieve the two CD's for Vic.

Tony waited silently and looked to see Mike smiling down at Tony's doodles.

"Those are really cool," Mike said, pointing at the R2-D2 Drawings scrawled on the paper.

Mike looked up to see Tony's cheeks burning a dark scarlet.

"Thank you," Tony replied, looking down at his tattooed hands.

"You like Star Wars?" Mike asked.

"He lives for Star Wars.." Jaime said, placing the 2 CD's on the counter in front of Tony.

"Anything else for you?" Tony asked Vic, actually looking up at him.

Vic smiled and shook his head.

Tony began ringing up the purchase.

"Your total is 29.03" Tony recited.

Vic handed him the card and Jaime asked,

"What made you decide to get a Digital copy?"

Vic shrugged, "We tour A lot and don't usually bring the record player with us. So we keep the vinyls at home... And these albums are great, you two have exquisite taste."

Tony smiled at him and handed him his purchase along with his receipt.

"Thank you," Tony said as Vic took the bag.

"Thank you,"

"You guys tour a lot?" Jaime asked.

"Not a lot a lot... but more than we were used to with our last band." Mike said.

"You were in a band before?" Jaime asked.

Tony stayed silent and listened.

"Yeah. Before Today, previously Early Times." Mike replied.

"Oh... How'd that turn out?" Jaime asked, already guessing the outcome would be similar if not identical to his and Tony's experience with Trigger My Nightmare.

"Eh, not too bad." Mike said.

"The split was a unanimous decision. No hard feelings." Vic said.

"Why'd you guys split in the first place?" Jaime asked.

Vic looked at Tony, then back at Jaime. He was silent a moment, but said,

"No potential..."

"Have you found potential in anyone else yet?" Jaime asked.

Vic looks at Mike, who nods with a smile, then back at Tony and Jaime

"We got our eyes on two fellas."

Jaime smiled, and said

"Oh really, who would they be?"

"Have you two replaced us already?" Tony piped up, playing along as well.

Vic smiled and said, "You guys are it. I know it. You two have to jam with us sometime, I mean it."

Tony chuckled and scratched the back of his neck.

"Come on, Tony. We've seen you live. We know you love the energy, We know you love very moment on that stage. We know you were born to do this for a living. We know it." Vic began, a pleading look in his eyes.

"Just let us help you get there..." Mike finished.

Tony looked at Jaime who was already looking at him with puppy dog-eyes.

Tony giggled and shook his head.

"Yeah. Alright. We'll play together... see how things shake out, and.. see what happens." Tony sighed, defeated.

"Turtle said it! We'll do it!" Jaime said, with a cheerful expression.

"Yes! You guys won't regret it, I promise you." Vic said.

"I trust you," Tony said, smiling.

Mike smiled every time Tony did, Tony having an obvious domino effect on Mike.

"Great. So just... call me, and we'll get things sorted... Yeah?" Vic asked, beginning to exit the store backwards.!

"Yeah, definitely." Jaime replied.

"We look forward to that!" Mike said as the two left the shop.

The whole situation began to hit Tony slowly, then all at once.

"Oh my god," Tony whispered to himself.

"I know. Those guys are kind of a big deal and if they are serious then this could be serious and oh my god turtle. I am so excited!" Jaime said, slowly beginning to bounce up and down.

Tony smiled and hit Jaime's arm playfully.

"Calm down, you twit. You don't know how this'll end..."

"Neither do you, Tone. Don't think too much about it. You'll start to doubt yourself, man."

Tony smiled and nodded.

"You're right, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Hey, we close in an hour, right?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Great, I am exhausted."

"You're telling me," Tony replied, tucking his doodles away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2532, apparently. This chapter actually took longer than the previous ones. I don't know.... Word count was killing me towards the end, but then became easy.... I don't know... I hope you guys like it... BTW This story is inspired by piercethemayfire's story Picture Perfect. It's absolutely amazing and on wattpad! One of my favorites! So... Check it out!
> 
> Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> p.s I'll try and update I'll us the love you left behind twice this weekend to makeup for no update last weekend... but idk....
> 
> Anywho, thanks for reading!
> 
> xx


	4. You'd like to know all, So I'll keep it short

The work day was finally over.

Jaime and Tony were relieved. It had been a very long, stressful, and interesting day.

Tony sighed as they began the process of closing up the shop.

"You alright, turtle?" Jaime asked, Tony has seemed off all day.

"Fine. Just tired." Tony murmured.

Although it was true, that wasn't all that was wrong with him.

Today, Tony had been thinking about James all day.

He had been letting the thought of James potentially lying to him eat him alive.

The flashback's of Tony at his worst were also attacking him in silence.

But Tony wouldn't dare worry Jaime about it.

Not now. Not when Jaime was finally starting to become genuinely happy.

Tony wouldn't dare ruin that for Jaime.

Even though he knew Jaime would get mad for not saying anything once he would find out.

That just unnerved Tony even more.

That along with the amounts of social anxiety that today's work day in particular put Tony with, was starting to wear him out physically and mentally.

And Jaime noticed.

"Turtle, we'll finish this up tomorrow. Let's get you home.."

"No. I have to finish." Tony said, continuing to wipe the table.

"Tony I love you. I really do, but you look like shit. I have to get you home."

"No," Tony persisted, " I have work to do, Hime"

Jaime sighed and took the rag from Tony's hands.

Tony pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You're just tired, Tony. Let's get you home." Jaime chuckled as he chucked the rag into the break room.

"Fine" Tony huffed and threw his backpack over his shoulders.

"Don't you miss Becca and Hannah Montana?" Jaime teased as he clocked out.

"More than anything." Tony smiled and clocked out after him.

They sealed the shop tight and got into the car.

"Why did it feel like today lasted a thousand years?" Tony groaned and buried his face in his backpack that was now on his lap.

"You were under a lot pf stress today, turtle. And a lot happened... I promise, tomorrow will be better." Jaime assured as he started driving Tony home.

"I hope you're right..." Tony began, " I forgot to tell you something, Jaime."

"What?" Jaime asked, not peeling his eyes from the road before him.

"Tomorrow, you're kinda probably going to have to open on your own.... okay?" Tony said, his voice smaller than ever.

"Yeah, that's fine... But why?"

"I'm going to visit my dad tomorrow morning... It's his birthday and my mom is not going to do anything... And.." Tony sighed, " I just want to visit him.... I haven't in a while.." Tony looked down and played with his fingers.

"Oh. I understand. Of course, Tony. Take as long as you need."

Tony smiled at him and nodded.

"Thank you."

"How are you getting there? Do need a ride? Where's your dad at anyway?"

"Greenwood Memorial Park. Just outside of downtown. The bus can take me there."

"So can I."

"No, Jaime. I'll go. Just me. Okay? I appreciate it... But I can't let you take me."

The two were silent until they pulled up into Tony's driveway.

"If you change your mind..." Jaime said, with a serious face.

Tony nodded and got out of the car.

"Thanks, Hime. See you tomorrow."

"See ya!" Jaime called and drove home.

Tony trudged to his front door and let himself in.

"Tony!" He heard his little sister shriek.

She ran to him and hugged his leg with all her might.

"Hey, Becca." Tony smiled and picked her up, placing a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"I missed you, Tony!" She called and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"I missed you too, Bec. What did you do today?" He asked, placing her on his hip as we went to fetch the two of them a drink.

"I woke up and mommy said you left already.." Becca said, her face falling.

"I know, I'm sorry, Becca. I had to leave early today to open the store."

"Oh Okay!" She said, her face lighting up again. Tony chuckled and poured them both tall glasses of juice.

"Mijo, you're home?" He heard his mom say from the bottom of the staircase.

"Yeah. Just got here." He said softly.

"Do you have to leave early tomorrow, Tony? I really want to watch princesses with you." Becca asked.

Tony smiled and sat down, with Becca on his lap.

"Sorry sweets. But yes I do. I have to visit my dad." He explained to her, silently hoping his mom didn't hear.

"Visit your dad?" His mom asked, loudly.

Tony sighed and kissed Becca on the top of her head.

"Go upstairs to your room, sweets. I'll be up there in a minute to watch princesses, Okay?" He whispered to her. He placed her on her feet.

Becca nodded and scurried up to her room.

"Tony. You're not actually going to visit your father, are you?"

"Yes. I actually am." He said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Why?"

"Because he's my father. It's his birthday." Tony replied, becoming obviously annoyed.

"No. Tony. That's no reason." She said sternly, placing her hand on her hip.

"What are you talking about? He's my father. I love him and I miss him. I'm going to see him."

"No you are not! Your father felt everything but love for you." She said, her voice getting louder and meaner with every syllable.

"Yes I am! I am tired of you trying to convince me he didn't love me!"

"He didn't, baby. I did. I loved you. Not your father. I'm still here. He isn't."

"You bitch! The only reason my father isn't here anymore is because of you! You took me away from him! You drove him away! And you've driven me way ever since! It's like every fucking thing I do, reminds you of him.. And that drives you crazy. It's like you used me just to destroy him... And after you did... you found no use for me anymore,"

"Tony. That is not true. Your father...,"

"Shut up. You don't know what my father felt for me, or what I did for him. You got rid of the one person I needed most growing up... And now you won't let me visit him on his birthday."

"Your father is dead, Tony." She began, "He's been dead for eleven years."

"You really have to let it go, son"

"Let it go?"

"Let it go?!" He replied, louder.

Tony looked at his mother in utter disbelief.

"You're not going to visit your father's memorial site. And that is the end of the conversation."

"Mom, I'm not 13 anymore. I'm not going to sit in my room because you said I couldn't go. I'm 21 years old. I'm going to visit my dad. No matter what you say."

"No. I am your mother. Not matter how old you are."

"And he is my father. No matter what you say."

Tony walked past his mother and up the stairs to Becca's room.

He opens the door to see his baby sister curled up in a ball underneath her pink comforter.

He sat down on the bed, beside her, and rubbed her back.

"Becca?" Tony said softly.

Becca popped up from under the covers. Her cheeks were rounder than usual, and he face was flushed pink. He eyes were tear stained.

"You and mommy were yelling." She said with a sniffle.

Tony sighed. Now he felt terrible.

Becca was his pride and joy. He loved her and cared for her as he would his own child.

He was always so careful with Becca, more than Becca's own father was... that was for sure.

Tony felt bad because he never yelled around Becca. And now he was sure he'd never do it again.

Tony said, "I know. I'm sorry, sweets. I didn't mean to scare you."

Tony pushed her long brown hair out of her face.

"It's okay, Tony. Can we watch princesses?"

Tony smiled and nodded.

"Of course."

Tony put Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs to play.

"Come lay, Tony." Becca said.

Tony turned the light off and sat at the foot of her bed.

"No! Lay!" Becca said, furiously patting the small space beside her.

Tony shook his head.

"I can't, sweets. Your bed is designed to fit a little princess. Not me."

"You're a little prince! Come lay!" Becca persisted.

Tony knew she wouldn't sleep unless he did lie down with her. Even if for just a minute.

Tony sighed in defeat and fit the best he could without making Becca uncomfortable on her tiny princess bed.

"Happy?"

"Yes!"

She curled up into her blanket and watched Snow White sing about her prince charming by the well.

"Tony?"

"Hm?"

"When will your true love find you?"

"I don't know, Becca."

"When he does find you, can I live with you and prince charming in the castle?"

"Of Course, sweets." Tony chuckled and kissed her cheek.

"Okay."

Becca knew. Even for a five year old. Becca knew. Becca knew, and so did Tony's mother. Tony's mother knew, Tony's father knew. But it wasn't until after Tony's father died, did Tony know.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Tony just didn't like girls. In fact, Tony never really had to come out to anyone. His family just... knew.

It wasn't because of how he walked or talked or acted. It was just because he was always so innocently open about things with his parents.

Becca knew since the first time Tony played Snow White for her.

Ever since, she's referred to her brother as Snow White.

"Goodnight, Snow White." Becca said, her eyelids getting heavier.

"Goodnight, princess." Tony whispered. He planted a kiss on the top of her head.

He waited until Becca's breathing became slow and steady.

He knew she was asleep.

He tucked his little princess into bed and turned off her TV.

"Sleep tight, sweets."

Tony left her room quietly and headed to his.

"Tony, don't think we're done talking about this."

"You said the conversation was over."

"Antonio," His mother warned sternly. Her patience obviously wearing towards non-existent.

Tony sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Listen, Mom. I'm tired. I'm sorry. I had a long day and I've just been really upset about some things... and I shouldn't have disrespected you like that. I'm sorry."

"Oh, mijo." His mother sighed and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry, son. I didn't mean what I said either. I'm sorry. I know your father meant a lot to you.. and is a touchy subject. I shouldn't have stepped into that territory. I'm sorry, baby."

Tony looked down and nodded.

"What time are you going to the cemetery tomorrow?"

Tony's face lit up and he looked up at her suddenly.

"You're saying I can go?"

"Like you said... as much as I think you are.. you're not a baby anymore. What's going to happen if you do visit him anyway?"

"I'm going to go early, because it's only Jaime and I working the floor at the moment.. and I don't want to leave him to handle it all by himself."

"How was I blessed with such a sweet boy?" Tony's mother said, placing a soft hand on his cheek.

"I'm going to bed, mom. I'm exhausted."

"Alright, my love. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, mom. I love you,"

"I love you, too." She said, placing a kiss on his cheek.

Tony went into his room and shut the door behind him.

He sat on his bed and waited for the familiar sound.

The sound of his mother walking and settling in her bedroom for the night.

He heard it, and finally settled down on his bed.

He sighed and tried to rub the sleep from his eyes.

Tony yawned and stripped down to just boxers.

He pulled his backpack onto his bed and went through the contents.

Wallet, headphones, mp3 player, keys, name tags, usual.

He pulled the CD from his backpack with a smile on his face.

He carefully placed A Flair For The Dramatic amongst his ever-growing cd stack on his dresser.

Tony turned off his light and laid down to sleep.

His eyelids felt like lead as he began to quickly doze off.

Tony was getting his much-needed rest for tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Word count: 1958. Sorry this update took a while and that is sucks literal shit. I kind of made Becca a bit younger than she would actually be during this point in Tony's life. And By a bit younger, I mean like... half her age... Sorry. I just needed her to be very little. So she's like four or five.This chapter sucks major bullocks. I hate it. Honestly. I am sorry. I will definitely make up for this. Thanks for the support and stuff. It keeps me going.)


	5. My feet they stand on ashed from the fires that you've made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/n This is much better. Word count: 2818, ayeee..)  
> 

Tony was harshly awaken by his mother knocking furiously on his bedroom door.

Tony groaned and turned over in his bed.

"Tony, honey! It's 8:30! Can you help your sister get ready, please?" He heard his mother call from the hallway.

Tony sighed and sat up in his bed.

"Yeah, mom! I got her!" Tony called back and rubbed his eyes.

"I've never felt so tired..." He muttered to himself.

Tony took in a ball of air and stood up.

Once gaining the strength to move, he trudged to his baby sister's room.

He knocked on the door softly.

_Nothing._

"Sweets?" He whispered as he cracked the door open slightly.

Becca was wrapped in her pink comforter, her long hair all over her face, in the weirdest sleeping position Tony had ever seen.

Tony chuckled and walked inside.

He quietly took a seat on the foot of her bed, not wanting to startle her.

"Sweets.." Tony said softly, pushing the hair out of her sleeping face.

"Princess, wake up." Tony said a little louder, shaking her softly.

"Hm?" She groaned and rolled on her side.

Tony chuckled and shook his head.

"Come on, Bec. You have school, sweets."

"I don't wanna.." She murmured into her pillow.

"Come on, babe" He said, pulling the covers off of her.

"No! Tony! I want to sleep!"

"Becca, You have to go to school. Mommy has work. We can't let her be late, can we?"

"Yes we can."

"Becca.."

"Tony, I don't wanna!" Becca persisted, kicking her feet.

"Becca, I know you're tired, love. We all are."

Becca stayed quiet and rolled over again, still not facing Tony.

"Sweets, if you get up right now and get ready quick enough, I'll convince mommy to let Hime and I pick you up today and take you to the shop."

"Really?" She gasped, shooting up to face him.

"Really!" He said, matching her tone. "But you better hurry, time's running out!"

"No!" She gasped again and ran into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Tony giggled at her. He walked into his bathroom and got ready to shower.

He picked out a Metallica shirt and some standard black jeans, and pair of clean boxer briefs.

He could hear Becca's little feet running between her room and the hall bathroom.

"Becca, be careful, sweets!" Tony called into the hall.

He could also hear his mother running up the stairs.

"Antonio! What on Earth do you have her doing?" His mom asked sternly as she sees her daughter putting her uniform on as if her life depended on it.

Tony shrugged, opened his mouth to say something, but

"Mommy! Mommy! Tony said if I hurry, Jaime and him will take me to his work!" Becca called, running into the bathroom to brush her hair.

"After school, of course." He defended.

Tony's mother looked at him with an _Are you kidding me?_ face.

"Mom, it was the only thing that would get her up, you know that." Tony said, holding in a laugh.

His mother sighed.

"Okay... Will you pick her up though?"

"Of course. What time?"

"She's off at 2, Tony.. I don't like her waiting."

"I don't either. Jaime and I will take our lunch then, pick her up by two... and she's mine for the rest of the day, deal?"

His mother sighed and nodded her head.

"Deal,"

"Now let me help her before he hurts herself." His mother chuckled and goes to help Becca braid her hair for school.

Tony laughed and went to shower. He opted to play _A Flair For The Dramatic_ during.

He plugged his phone into the iHome, and played the digital download that came with the CD purchase.

"Mijo!" He heard his mother call.

"Be glad I wasn't naked yet!" He calls back, walking back into the hallway.

"You're in boxers.. and I'm your mother... I've seen it all."

"Ew," Tony said simply.

"Do you need a ride to the cemetery?" His mother asked, putting her earrings in.

"No. Jaime's taking me," He lied. His mother wouldn't let him take the bus alone.

"Okay. remember, she's off at two!" She called, taking Becca's hand into her own.

"I know, mom."

"No junk food, for either of you. No ice cream. Tony, I mean it. Enough feeding her junk."

"Mom, I won't, I promise." Lie. He'd give anything and everything to Becca without even thinking about it.

Ton't mother took Becca downstairs to get her bag and shoes on.

Tony followed after them.

"Okay, we're heading out. This little lady is already late." Tony's mother said, grabbing her purse, and handing Becca her backpack.

"Okay, I'll lock up." Tony said.

"Okay, have a good day, son."

"You too, mom" Tony replied, kissing his mom's cheek.

"And you," He said to Becca, he got down to her level, "I will see you at 2, my lovely." He finished and blew a raspberry into her cheek.

Becca squealed and giggled. She pushed Tony away softly.

"Bye, Snow White!" Becca said, getting on her tippy toes to give Tony a kiss on the cheek. Tony kneeled down and she kissed him.

"Bye, honey, I love you!" Tony's mother called and walked out of the door.

"Bye, Snow white!" Becca called, waving as she left with her mother to the car.

"Bye, princess!" Tony called, waving back.

Once they left, Tony showered and got ready for the day.

He was clean, clothed, and fed. He was ready.

He packed a uniform shirt and a phone charger apart from his usual contents of his backpack.

He checked his phone for time.

"9:30, only a bit late..." He muttered and left the house. Tony put a black beanie on his head and proceeded.

He lived a block from the bus that would take him just 5 miles from downtown San Diego, which was another block from the cemetery.

Tony shoved his headphones in and blasted music normally.

'Miss Murder' by AFI came on and Tony began his journey.

It took him five minutes to get to the bus stop, and only another five for the bus to actually arrive.

He showed the driver his bus pass, and took a seat in the back of the bus.

Normal day.

Tony pulled a book from out of his backpack and started light reading as per usual.

This week's read was _Looking For Alaska_ By John Green.

He was nearing _Three Days Before_ and he was getting anxious. Even though, he'd read it about a thousand times since it was released.

Tony sat in silence the duration of the bus ride. With Pudge, Colonel and Alaska keeping him company, and Metallica playing for him, the time flew by.

He was finally at his stop. Tony shoved his book in his backpack, and ripped the earphones from his ears and threw his phone in there too.

Tony quickly got off the bus and started on his way to the cemetery.

His heart was thumping in his chest and his mouth went dry.

Why was he so nervous to visiting his dead father?

Tony tried to shake the nervousness from his head and picked up the pace.

He could see the gates now and almost started jogging.

He hadn't visited his father since he was 16 years old.  
For five years, he's been abandoning the tombstone.

Tony walked down the cobblestone path through the nameless grave sites.

He stopped and looked around. Only a couple people were here at the cemetery, which was rare.  
No one at all was here the last Tony had remembered.  
But then again, It had been five years... Many people have died since then...

Tony took in a ball of the cool morning air and smiled.

He made his way down a familiar path, to his father's resting site.

He was looking down at his shoes until he got to it.

The small chunk of stone had began to wear away. The black type face was beginning to fade, and the spot was covered in dirt and dead flowers.

"Sorry, dad... I'll bring you flowers next time. I didn't realize..." Tony said, getting down on his knees to dust off the plaque with his father's name and portrait on it.

Tony smiled sadly and ran his tattooed fingers over his father's old portrait.

Tears stung Tony's eyes and threatened to spill.  
Tony shook his head furiously and wiped at his eyes.

He sniffled and readjusted the beanie atop his head.

"Sorry, dad... I'm just..." Tony whispered, looking away for a second.

Tony sat down on the floor and looked back at the tombstone.

"I just... It's been so long..." That's when Tony lost it,

Tears began to fall slowly, then all at once.

Hot tears began to flood him.

He let out a couple shuttered breaths and was gasping for breath.

Tony hadn't cried like this in a while.

It was the kind of crying that leaves your heart aching. The kind of crying that has you absolutely pathetically flailing and gasping for air.

The kind of crying that some people never get to experience.

Unfortunately, Tony knew this kind of crying all too well.

_No, No this can't be real._

_This can't be happening._

_Tony's breathing left it's normal pattern and became eradicated._

_Tony was gasping for air and hiccuping tears._

_He sniffled and tried wiping his tears away. But Lord knew, they'd probably never stop._

_"No, No!" Tony sobbed. His little form entirely crumpled in on itself._

_He was curled up in a ball in his bedroom, trying to cry all the pain away._

_But he didn't think he'd ever stop hurting._

_"No! No! You can't take him!" Tony began yelling. He threw everything in his way against the wall to shatter._

_"NO!" Tony began ripping all the Star Wars and Slayer posters off his wall._

_He was nearly screaming at this point._

_"NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM! HE'S MINE!" Tony screamed to the ceiling._

_"No!" Tony yelled and threw the Darth Vader poster at his dresser, causing a picture frame to shatter on the ground beneath it._

_Tony stopped and looked down at it._

_The room fell silent._

_All that was heard was Tony's panting and the occasional hiccup from the crying boy._

_He squatted before the broken glass and now bent family portrait that was once contained in a photo frame._

_Tony took the picture into his hands. That's when the 10-year-old lost it._

_Tony fell to his knees in anguish._

_He clutched the photo of him and his father to his chest and cried loudly._

_Sobs began to rack his entire body._

_Tony was broken. And it was the broken that no one could ever fix._

_"Daddy, n-no. P- Please don't g-go."_

_Tony's voice trembled._

_"I need you, papa."_

________________________  
________________________Tony was brought back with hot tears and uneasy breathing.

  
Tony covered his mouth with his hand and cried just like he did when he was a little boy.

"I need you, papa" Tony repeated as his lip quivered.

Tony's body collapsed entirely. His face was practically on the plaque in the ground.

His hands covered his face. He felt broken all over again.

He was the little broken boy that never healed.

Tony sat up, and after a minute or two, he finally got his breathing back to normal.

His heart began to steady and he was getting back to normal.

"Happy Birthday, dad. I miss you." Tony said, pulling his knees to his chest.

He just started staring at the tombstone.

Tony was engulfed in his thoughts when he decided he'd better head to work.

Tony stood and wiped the tears from his face and sniffled.

He readjusted the beanie on his head and said,

"I love you, dad. I'll visit you more... I promise." Tony looked down at the tombstone for another second.

He turned around and immediately felt arms wrap around him securely.

His heart sped up and his breath began to pick up.

"I'm sorry, Tony. No one deserves that." He heard the voice of the person hugging him.

That's when he realized who it was.

It was Vic.

Vic Fuentes from the shop yesterday.

Another give away was Mike was standing behind Vic.

Vic pulled away from the hug and looked at Tony.

Tony was looking at his shoes, wiping the remaining tears from his eyes.

"You okay, Tone?" Mike asked,

"Fine," Tony said, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

"Are you sure?" Vic asked,

"What are you guys doing here?" Tony asked, avoiding the question.

"Our grandmother is buried around here. We were leaving some flowers, and we saw a kid losing it at a tombstone and he felt he needed a hug," Vic said.

"I was fine."

"You lost your dad. No one is 'fine' after something like that.." Mike added.

Tony didn't answer, he just looked around the cemetery, avoiding their eyes.

"Was it recent?" Vic asked, his voice small.

Tony shook his head and nodded towards the tombstone.

"I was ten"

"I'm so sorry," The brothers said in unison.

Tony shrugged, "It was all him, anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"Suicide." Tony whispered, looking at their sad eyes for a second before looking down at his shoes.

"Listen, I have to go... I'll see you two around.." Tony said, began walking off.

"Wait," Mike said, grabbing Tony's elbow softly.

"Where you headed?"

"Bus stop, then work."

"Bus? Nonsense. We'll drive you." Vic said, getting his keys from his pocket.

"Oh, No... I couldn't.." Tony said.

"Nope. We're taking you to Clairemont, and we're not taking no for an answer."

"Guys, seriously... I can-.."

"Nope." Mike insisted, and lead Tony to the car.

They all got into Vic's car and got onto the road towards the shop.

"Is Jaime there?" Vic asked, getting onto freeway.

"You would ask..." Mike teased quietly. But Tony heard anyway.

"Shut up!" Vic whispered, which Tony heard too. Tony raised an eyebrow and smirked,

"Yeah he's there..." Tony said.

"Okay... cool.." Vic nodded.

"Why?" Tony asked.

"No reason," Vic shrugged.

"You're a terrible liar," Tony said.

"See! I told you!" Mike said, loudly.

"Shut up! I am not lying!"

"Yes you are..." Tony said,

"About?"

"Why'd you want to know if Jaime was there?"

"He thinks he's 'interesting' and 'visually pleasing' " Mike air-quoted.

"Michael Christopher Fuentes I swear to God, If you do not shut the fuck up right now-"

"Admit it, Vic. Tony's not going to say anything. And if he does.. you got a shot." Mike teased and Tony giggled.

" Your middle name is Christopher? That's adorable." Tony chuckled.

"Yeah? So?" Mike said, pretending to be offended.

"It's better than Vincent.." Vic sighed.

"Victor Vincent Fuentes?" Tony asked.

"Yes, sir."

Vic stopped at a red light and looked back at Tony.

"You?"

Tony shrugged

"Just Tony Perry."

"Tony Perry," Mike said with a booming voice, " I like it."

"Not as exciting at Michael Christopher Fuentes..." Tony said.

"Shut up." Mike replied.

"Here we are... Clairemont Guitar Shop"

Vic said as they pulled up right in front of the shop.

"Thanks, Here.." Tony said, reaching for his wallet for gas money.

"Don't worry about it."

"You sure?"

"Positive. Just don't take anything Michael said seriously, okay?" Vic said.

"Oookay, Victor..." Tony teased and got out of the car.

Victor playfully flipped him off.

Tony blew him a kiss and entered the shop.

Vic rolled his eyes and drove him and Mike home.

"How was it?" Jaime asked as Tony threw his backpack behind the counter.

Tony shrugged

"Eh. same old, same old. It was cold and empty." Tony lied.

"Who dropped you off?"

Tony pulled out his uniform shirt from his backpack and chucked it on top of his band tee.

"Vic and Mike were there, actually. They drove me here."

Jaime was silent for a second, and then he said.

"That was nice of them."

"Yes it was." Tony said as he put his name tag on.

"Any customers yet?" Tony asked, lifting himself to sit n the counter.

"Just someone renewing warranty on an amp... That's it.."

Tony frowned and looked at the clock.

"We've been open for a few hours... slow day..."

"What did you guys talk about?"

"What?"

"What did you talk about with Vic and Mike?"

Jaime was very antsy whenever they talked about Vic or Mike. Tony didn't understand why until now.

Tony smirked.

I knew he liked him, Tony thought.

  
"What?" Jaime asked, referring to the way Tony was looking at him.

Tony shrugged and played it cool.

"What do you think of Vic?" Tony asked innocently.

Jaime sighed and shrugged.

"Seemed like a cool, nice guy... Why?"

Tony got onto his feet, on Jaime's level and put his hands on Jaime's shoulders.

"No... What do you really think of him?" Tony said slowly.

Jaime looked at him confused.'

"Turtle, what are you hinting at?"

"My gaydar is just through the roof right now..." Tony said, propping himself back on the counter.

"Shut up!" Jaime said. "I am not!"

"Don't be ashamed Jaime. You have a crush on a boy, on a cute boy! That doesn't mean you're gay! It just means you have a crush on a boy!"

"Shut up!"

"I'm like the gayest guy I know, Jaime.. I won't judge you.." Tony said, dramatically putting his hand over his heart.

"Shut your mouth!" Jaime persisted.

"Oh, Hime Time... I'm sorry." Tony teased.

Jaime sighed and covered his face with his hands.

"Victor Vincent..." Tony sighed.

"What?" Jaime asked, looking up at him confused.

"His name is Victor Vincent Fuentes... You know... just so you know what you'll be screaming later on...." Tony winked.

Jaime blushed the brightest shade of red and playfully punched Tony in the arm.

"Shut up, asshole!"

"Yeah...'asshole'...About that... be careful, Jaime... He seems like a fragile bottom.." Tony teased some more.

"I swear to god turtle, if you do not stop right now, I will kill you.."

Tony was now giggling out of control and Jaime was blushing like crazy.

Great, he's never gonna let this go, Jaime thought to himself.

The bell on the door chimed, indicating a customer was in. Tony hopped of the counter and said,

"Welcome to Clairemont Guitar Center. My name is Tony. If you need anything, just ask!" He said it with his brightest smile, and his brownest eyes.

I'm never letting this go, Tony thought to himself.


	6. Let's leave out all our skeletons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N Surprise Bitch. I bet you thought you saw the last of me.. Major TW: physical abuse, profanity, hints of rape/sexual abuse/molestation of a minor)

 

"Oh, Hime. I need to ask for a favor."

"What?" Jaime asked, focusing on re-alphabetizing the CD stack after a group of kids messed with it.

"Let's take our lunch at like quarter-to-two and pick Becca up from school. We'll take her out for food and ice cream and she'll chill her with us for the rest of our shift... Please.." Tony asked.

"Of course. I mean, come on... It's Becca.."

"Okay, yay" Tony replied.

Tony began to review inventory on the floor when a customer walked in.

"Welcome to Clairemont Guitar Center. My name is Jaime. If you need anything, just ask." Jaime recited to the customer, then returning to the CD's.

The floor was silent for a couple minutes. With the two employees working and the customer browsing.

Tony finished inventory-ing what he could and slid the clipboard behind the counter.

"Excuse me? Could I get some help, please?" A woman, who seemed to be around Tony's mother's age, asked from the vinyl section.

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry." Tony said, making his way over to her.

The woman didn't look at Tony, just browsed the vinyls.

"I was wondering how much this one was worth.." She said, pointing to _Dark Side of The Moon_ by Pink Floyd that was encased in glass as a display.

Tony never really knew why.. Those things only ran for about 50-80 $ tops.. It wasn't limited edition or anything.

"That one in particular isn't for sale. We do, however, have Dark Side as cassettes, and I think there might be a CD or two in the back.."

"Okay. How much for the cassette?" She said, looking up at him.

"It runs for 20, but I'll let you have it for 15..." Tony offered with a sweet smile.

"Oh, that would be lovely, honey." The women said, finally looking him in the face.

Before she could say anything else, Tony had already turned his back to get the cassette for her.

"Oh my god," She gasped and put her hand over her mouth.

"Is something wrong?" Jaime asked, walking over to the lady who was in utter disbelief.

"Tony," She gasped again.

Tony spun around with a worried look on his face.

"Is everything okay?" Tony asked, walking back over with the cassette in his hand.

The woman put her hands on his cheeks.

Tony was confused. He looked at the woman's face for a second, before it clicked.

"Lydia?" He whispered.

The woman squealed and hugged him tighter than he had ever been held before in his life.

"What are you doing here?" Tony asked, pulling out of the hug.

"Oh, mijo. I haven't seen you since you were a little boy." She said, pinching Tony's cheek.

Tony smiled and nodded.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Jaime said, still standing beside them, utterly confused.

"Jaime, this is Lydia. She was my step-mother before my dad passed."

"And I haven't seen my little turtle ever since!" Lydia said, pulling Tony in for another hug.

"You mean to tell me you haven't seen him since he was 10 years old?" Jaime asked.

"I haven't! Tony! You really have to meet Ava and Jacob! They're so big and they need their big brother, Tony!" Lydia pleaded.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.." Tony said, looking at her confused.

Lydia's face fell and she sighed.

"Oh yeah, I haven't seen you in 11 years, have I?"

Tony shook his head.

"When your father passed... I was pregnant, honey... With twins, actually"

Tony looked at her like she was insane.

"Are you serious?" He asked.

Lydia nodded.

Tony covered his mouth in surprise.

"Oh My god," His voice was muffled by his hand.

"I have a brother and a sister from you and dad?" He asked.

Lydia nodded with a wide grin.

"Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod, are you serious?" Tony asked, getting excited.

Lydia's smile grew bigger and she nodded again.

"Yes. A boy and a girl, Jacob and Ava. They're ten years old and they're the sweetest things, Tony."

"They're older than Becca?" Jaime asked.

"Becca?" Lydia asked.

"My mom had another kid. A baby girl... Her name's Becca, she just turned five. She lives with my mom and I" Tony explained.

"She remarried again? Or was it with Thomas?" Lydia asked, her voice lower than before.

Tony shook his head. Thomas was the man Tony's mother was with from the time Tony was five, til Tony turned 15.

Right when Tony found out more about himself to say the least...

Then, Tony's mother had Becca with a different man when Tony was 16. She stayed with Becca's father until Tony turned 18, and was currently focusing on work and her kids.

"Oh, that's good. You shouldn't be alone, Tony. You need siblings." Lydia said.

"Yeah, and I just found out I have more!" Tony said, bouncing with excitement.

"You really need to meet them, Tony."

"Well, now I know..."

"Ask your mother if you could come over for dinner sometime.." Lydia suggested.

Tony sighed and looked down at his shoes.

"I don't think she'd let me.."

"Tony, you are grown now..." Lydia began, "Oh, but my turtle's still a momma's boy, isn't he?"

Tony blushed and nodded slightly.

"Say you're coming over to my place. I'll drive you." Jaime offered.

"Really?" Tony asked, looking at him.

"Of course."

"Great! Both of you! Come over to my house the day after next, I will cook for you two, and you can meet the twins!" Lydia exclaimed.

"Are you sure?" Tony asked.

"Of course, Tony! You're still family no matter what, honey."

Tony smiled and nodded.

"Oh how I've missed that face! You've gotten so handsome, Antonio!" Lydia gushed and pinched his cheeks again.

Tony was now flushed a bright scarlet.

"I have to go, the twins are off in a bit and I still have some shopping to do." Lydia frowned.

"Oh.." Tony looked at his watch, 1:30.

 _Shit,_ He thought, _Becca's off in half an hour._

"I'll just ring this up and let you out." Tony said, rushing to the cash register.

"How long have you worked here, mijo?" Lydia asked, pulling out her wallet.

"A couple months, not too long." Tony said, scanning the tape.

"Is that all?" He asked, Lydia nodded.

"15 dollars, flat." Tony said, tapping his fingers on the counter.

"In a hurry, turtle?" Jaime asked.

"Becca's off in 30. I can't leave her waiting." Tony replied, putting Lydia's payment in the register.

"Oh crap, I forgot." Jaime said. He grabbed his keys and put the ' _Out for lunch'_ sign in the window.

Tony ripped the receipt from it's printer and handed it to Lydia, along with her purchase.

"Thanks. Have a marvelous day." Tony said with a smile.

"Thank you, honey. Remember! Saturday night!" Lydia reminded.

"We'll be there. I promise."

"Supper is at 6, as always."

"Okay. You still live at the same house?" Tony asked right before Lydia was out the door.

"I could never leave it, honey" Lydia said with a huge grin and left.

Tony waved and smiled.

"Oh my god." Tony sighed happily.

"That was something..."

"Something? I just saw my widow step mother for the first time in eleven years, and she invites me and my best friend over for dinner to meet my two twin siblings who I just found out existed!" Tony said, everything finally processing in his mind.

"I told you it was something..." Jaime shrugged and looked at the clock.

"It's 1:45. We have to go."

Tony nodded and grabbed his backpack.

They locked the shop and got into Jaime's car.

They got to Becca's elementary school at 1:55 on the dot.

Tony sighed in relief when he saw they weren't late.

He always thought the worst would happen whenever it came to Becca, and it always scared him half to death.

They just listened to _But Home is Nowhere,_ and  _Love Like Winter_ by AFI to pass the time.

Tony got out of the car that was parked right in front of the school's entrance just as the dismissal bell sounded.

He stood by the curb where parents pick-up in cars and waited for Becca.

Tony stuffed his hands in his pockets and waited.

He got a few dirty looks from some parents picking up their children.

I mean, Tony had tattoos, piercings, and stretched ears, it was inevitable, really.

He chuckled when he saw a mother looked at him with a shocked face. Tony opted for waving at her son who waved back with a smile on his face.

The woman gasped quietly and started almost dragging her kid to the car, muttering things along the lines of

" _Don't wave to him, he's strange,"_ or " _Do not_ _do that, he could be dangerous."_

He got the weirdest looks when Becca saw Tony, yelled, and ran into his arms.

"Hey, sweets." Tony said, crouching down to her level.

He planted soft kisses all over her face which made her squeal and giggle.

"How was you day, princess?" Tony asked, taking Becca's backpack in one hand, and her small hand in the other.

"It was fun! We painted things for mommy's for mothers day." Becca said excitedly.

"That sounds awesome! Will I get to see it?"

"Later, Snow White!"

Tony walked her to Jaime's car and buckled her in the backseat.

"Hey, Becca!" Jaime exclaimed, waving furiously.

"Hi Jaime!" Becca said with the same expression, and waved back.

Tony chuckled and shook his head at them. He got into the front seat and shut the doors.

"Are you hungry, princess?" Tony asked.

"Starving!" Becca groaned theatrically, rolling her eyes and throwing her head back for extra dramatic effects.

Jaime chuckled and they started driving into the city.

"What do you want to eat?" Tony asked.

"Ice cream!"

"No. Mommy said no ice cream." Tony said.

"But, Snow White!" Becca whined.

"Okay... We'll get ice cream, but you have eat real food first, okay, sweets?"

"Okay! Can I get chicken nuggets, Tony?" Becca asked.

"Of course, from where?"

Becca shrugged.

"Well, Jaime's feeling McDonald's... soo... Just throwing that out there..." Jaime said.

"McDonald's then?" Tony asked, looking back at Becca.

Becca pretended to think for a while, stroked her invisible beard for a second before nodding.

"Okay. McDonald's it is."

"What's the vegan gonna eat?" Jaime teased.

"Vegetarian..." Tony reminded, rolling his eyes playfully.

"Same difference," Jaime shrugged.

Tony shrugged as well and thought.

"They have salads."

Jaime looked at Tony like he was insane.

"You're going to McDonald's to have a fucking salad?"

"Do not swear in front of Becca," Tony warned.

"Sorry, Bec." Jaime apologized.

Becca huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm not going to McDonald's to have a salad. I am going to McDonald's because Becca wants McDonald's.. and a salad seems to be their only vegetarian option."

"Don't talk to me," Jaime said, pulling into the McDonalds parking lot.

"Not planning to," Tony said back.

Tony got Becca from the backseat and grabbed her hand.

"Come on, Princess. Time for lunch."

Jaime and Tony ordered their food and sat down at a table with Becca to wait.

"So, Becca. How was your day?" Jaime asked, taking a seat across from Tony and Becca.

"Uneventful," Becca sighed dramatically.

"Awesome vocabulary, there." Jaime said.

"You told me today was fun, what changed?" Tony asked, looking at her.

Becca shrugged.

"I painted a picture, it was fun at the time... But now I'm over it. " Becca explained. Her sentences sounded weird coming from her little 5 year old voice.

"I refuse to believe she's five." Jaime said, pointing at Becca.

Becca smiled sweetly and Tony chuckled.

"She talks like that because of me. Sorry, squirt." Tony said, ruffling Becca's hair.

Becca fixed her hair and stuck her tongue out at Tony.

He stuck his tongue out back.

"What about you, Snow White?" Becca asked.

"What about what?" Tony asked.

"Did you meet your prince charming today?" Becca asked, teasingly.

"You are five years old, don't worry about it." Tony said simply.

"You did!" Becca called out loudly.

Tony shushed her and shook his head.

"No, sweets. I did not. I already have a prince at the moment." Tony admitted, smiling to himself sadly.

He still hadn't heard from James in a couple days, which wasn't rare... but it still bothered him.

"But is he your prince charming?" Becca asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Toony was silent for a moment.

Was James his prince charming?

Truly, he couldn't be. They'd only been dating for four months.

James was his second longish-term relationship with anyone.

But it was the first one to seem committed.

The other long term one sometimes kept him up at night.

_"Come Here," He growled._

_Tony nodded and walked over to him._

_"You are mine," He said and pulled Tony onto his lap to face him._

_"You got that?"_

_Tony nodded silently and looked down._

_He put his finger under Tony's chin and forced him to look back up at him, harshly._

_"Look at me, bitch" He spat and kissed him hard._

_Tony couldn't help but kiss him back. He really didn't have any other choice._

_He wrapped his arms tight around Tony's waist._

_Tony winced and pulled away._

_"What's the matter with you?" He asked harshly._

_Tony shook his head quickly._

_"Oh, I left the baby with bruises?" He teased, his voice cynical, as per usual._

_Tony shook his head again. He knew what would happen if he knew Tony had bruises._

_"Take your shirt off," He demanded._

_Tony shook his head again._

_"Speak, damn it!" He yelled, causing Tony to flinch._

_Tony stayed silent and looked away._

_"I told you to take of your shirt, what are you, retarded?"_

_"No," Tony said quietly._

_"No, you're not retarded?"_

_"No, I'm not taking off my shirt."_

_"No? Are you being disobedient?" He asked, his voice more sinister than before._

_Tony didn't say anything, he just swallowed hard, his throat clicking.  
_

_"You know what happens to you when you misbehave. Don't you?" He ask, his voice now calm and down to a whisper._

_Tony was now shaking with fear. Tears threatened to spill, as he nodded._

_"So are you going take your shirt of, or not?" He whispered even closer to Tony's ear. His hot breath sent chills down Tony's spine, that caused goosebumps ._

_Tony nodded and slowly took off his shirt._

_Once it hit the ground his lips immediately attached to Tony's neck, sucking and biting hard._

_It wasn't the enjoyable love bites you expected. Brendan did it just to hurt Tony._

_Brendan did it to leave bruises all over Tony's beautiful skin._

_Brendan did it to ruin him._

_Brendan, that was his name. A name that Tony could never forget.  
_

_He could never forget the taste it left in his mouth._

_"Brendan," Tony whined, "P-please st-stop."_

_Brendan pulled Tony closer and bit harder._

_Tony winced and shut his eyes tight, forcing a tear to roll down his cheek._

_Tony quickly flicked it off his face._

_Crying only made it worse. He knew that._

_"You," Brendan said, tangling his fingers in Tony's hair, and jerking his head back._

_"Never," He said with emphasis by tugging on Tony's hair harder, "Tell me when to stop."_

_A couple more tears rolled down Tony's cheek and he nodded slightly._

_Well, as much as he could with Brendan pulling his hair._

_"Are you crying?" Brendan spat._

_Tony was silent._

_"SPEAK!" Brendan yelled, tugging his hair._

_"Ow! No!" Tony yelled back._

_"You," Brendan yelled, slamming Tony onto the bed roughly, "Do **Not** yell at me, you slut." _

_Tony was now on the border of sobbing. His body was shaking again and his hands were up in defense._

_Brendan straddled Tony as his fist collided with Tony's face._

_Tony tried pushing Brendan off of him, but he knew he couldn't._

_"Stop!" Tony pleaded._

_Brendan hit him again._

_"What did I just fucking say?"  Brendan screamed, hitting Tony again._

_Tony felt hot tears mixed with his blood drip onto his bare chest._

_"Are you done?" Brendan asked, and pinned Tony's hands down._

_Tony couldn't do anything but cry. Sobs began to rack his entire body._

_Brendan got a tight grip around Tony's neck, making the crying stop suddenly._

_"I asked if you were done, princess." Brendan asked, whispering right into Tony's ear._

_Tony shivered and nodded the best he could._

_He knew he'd have to endure the duration of the night in silence._

"Tony!" Jaime said, waving his hand in front of Tony's face.

Tony snapped out of it and looked around frantically.

"Huh? What?" Tony asked, he could feel the hot tears on his face and he was shaking violently.

"Come on, Turtle. You're scaring Becca." Jaime said.

"Huh?" Tony asked. He quickly wiped the tears from his face and he just couldn't stop shaking.

"Tony, what happened? Are you okay?" Jaime asked.

Tony nodded. Lie.

"E-Excuse me." Tony said as he dashed for the bathroom.

Tony felt the feeling he knew all too well.

Tony could feel it burning into the back of his throat.

Tony could feel it coming up.

He shut the stall door behind him and fell to his knees.

He threw up into the porcelain bowl.

He threw up everything.

He couldn't help it.

The thought of Brendan made him physically sick.

The taste Brendan left in his mouth... was absolutely revolting.

Tony sat down on the cold tiles and cried his heart out.

He brought his knees to his chest and just cried.

"Turtle?" He heard Jaime call.

 _Shit_ , Tony thought, _He's going to think I relapsed..._

Tony sighed, wiped his face and mouth, and flushed the toilet.

"Tony," Jaime said, his voice smaller than ever.

Tony couldn't look at Jaime, not now. He couldn't see the pain in his face, he couldn't

"Tony, you-"

"It's not what you think, Jaime..." Tony said softly.

"My best friend is recovering from an eating disorder, he just threw up out of nowhere and you mean to tell me it isn't because he's relapsed...." Jaime asked, his voice now angry.

"Please don't be mad... I didn't relapse.."

"Why don't I believe you?" Jaime asked, his voice raising.

Tony's lip quivered and he said,

"Please don't be mad at me.." Tony took in a breath and looked down at his lap.

Jaime said and sat down beside Tony.

"I'm not, Tony..." Tony was still shaking and was still crying.

"Just... tell me why.."

"I didn't relapse. I promise. I didn't I swear." Tony said quickly, his voice trembling.

"Shh. Calm down, Tone." Jaime soothed and put his arm around Tony.

"Just... tell me... What happened back there?"

"Brendan," Tony whispered and tried to get himself to stop shaking.

Jaime sighed and pulled Tony closer.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know." Jaime whispered into Tony's ear.

Tony sniffled and nodded.

"It's okay...It's just... he makes me sick... and I really couldn't stop myself, Jaime. Really. I didn't relapse. It was just... he's just revolting..."

"I get it Tony. As best as I can. I get it." Jaime soothed.

"Where's Becca, You can't leave her alone out there!" Tony said, immediately springing to his feet.

Jaime walked past him and opened the door to show Becca was standing right outside the bathroom door.

"She's right here, Tony."

Tony turned and smiled.

"I'll be right out, princess." Tony said to her.

Becca seemed worried, but she nodded anyway.

"I'll give you a minute," Jaime said, leaving the bathroom with Becca.

Tony splashed water over his face and rinsed his mouth out.

He looked at himself in the mirror and shook his head.

"It's over. It's done. It happened, but It's over. You made it." He said to himself.

"You made it" He repeated under his breath.

He ripped a paper towel from the dispenser ad dried his face and hands.

He fixed his hair in the mirror and took in a ball of air before leaving the bathroom. He was immediately greeted with Becca running into his arms. Tony dropped to his knees to be at her level.

"Are you okay, Snow White?" She asked, tears threatened to spill and Tony knew it.

"I'm fine, sweets. Don't worry about it." He whispered into her hair.

"But you were hurting, Tony." 

"I'm all better now, princess. I promise. I'm okay."

"you're not hurt?" She asked, and pulled out of his grasp.

He shook his head.

"You're not sick?"

He shook his head again.

"I'm fine, doll. I promise." He said, pointing his pinky out.

Becca interlocked her pinky with his and smiled.

Tony smiled back and kissed her cheek.

"Let's eat," Tony said and got on his feet.

He took Becca's hand in his and walked back to the table where Jaime sat.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Word Count: 3175. I don't know how I feel about this....)


	7. Young and angry, with every right to be

Becca skipped back to the car with her ice cream in hand.

Tony smiled at her and warned,

“Be careful, princess. Don’t spill it.”

“I won’t, Snow White!”

“I’m so full,” Jaime groaned and plopped into the driver’s seat.

Tony shook his head and buckled Becca into the back seat.

He kissed her forehead and shut the door.

He hopped into the car and they made their way back to the shop.

Tony unlocked the door and led Becca inside.

“Tony! It’s so pretty!” Becca exclaimed, jumping up and down a little.

Tony smiled down at her and kissed the top of her head.

“I’m glad you like it, sweets. Come on, let’s clean you up.” Tony said, referring to Becca’s hands that were sticky with ice cream.

Becca followed him into the bathroom.

Tony let the faucet run and sat Becca on the counter by the sink and he washed her hands and wiped her mouth clean.

“All clean!” Becca cheered.

“Yes. All clean.” Tony smiled and dried her off.

“Am I pretty now, Snow White?”

“Gorgeous, as always, my love.” Tony kissed her cheek and set her down on her feet.

Becca ran back into the front of the store and stopped on her tracks once she got there.

Tony followed and whispered,

“Don’t run, sweets. I don’t want you getting hurt.” Tony looked up to see why Becca had suddenly stopped.

There was two customers randomly browsing quietly. Tony instantly knew why that had startled Becca.

Becca was only slightly less excruciatingly shy than Tony was.

Becca instantly ran behind Tony and his behind his legs.

The sound of her feet moving quickly made the customers both look at him suddenly.

Tony’s face heated up and he looked down at his shoes.

He took Becca’s hand in his and silently led her to behind the counter.

“You two need help with anything?” Jaime asked, breaking the silence that had filled the store.

“She is just adorable,” One of them gawked, ignoring Jaime.

“She really is,” Tony smiled at them and nodded.

“Thank you,” he replied politely. He placed his hand on the back of Becca's head.

Becca hid herself more behind Tony and gripped his leg tighter.

“What’s her name?”

“Her name's Becca.”

“How old is she?”

“She’s five.”

"She yours? You're so young.."

"No, No... She's my little sister..." Tony explained.

"Obviously," One customer muttered to the other.

Tony felt Becca hide herself even more into his frame. He felt her getting progressively more uncomfortable.

"Do you need help with anything?" He asked politely, changing the topic.

"No, we're just browsing. Thank you."

Tony smiled and nodded.

Eventually, the two customers left without buying anything.

"It's okay, princess. It's just us and Hime now." Tony soothed, and Becca finally let go of his pant leg.

"You okay, sweets?" He asked, crouching down to her level.

Becca nodded and looked down at her shoes.

Tony smiled and took her small hand into his own.

"Come on, princess." He said, and Becca followed.

Tony led her to the children's selection of CD's and cassettes that the shop sold.

"What music do you want to play, Bec?" Tony picked her up and placed her on his hip, so she could see the titles better.

"Princesses! Princesses!" Becca cheered.

"Okay, princesses. Let's see," Tony said, looking for any Disney soundtracks.

"Hime!" Tony called,

"Yes?" Jaime called back.

"Do we have any Disney princess soundtracks?" Tony asked just as the bell rang, indicating another customer had arrived.

"So That's what you're into, Tony?" Tony heard the familiar voice ask.

It was Mike. It was always Mike.

Becca squirmed and Tony's arms, so Tony let her onto her feet.

Tony turns to see Vic and Mike with stupid grins on their faces.

Becca scurried to hide behind Tony again as the customers approached.

"Tony's an interesting man, guys." Jaime joked, as he handed Tony a soundtrack to The Little Mermaid.

"Why does it feel like you two are stalking me?" Tony joked.

"Because we are," Vic played along.

Tony rolled his eyes and put in the soundtrack to play on loop throughout the shop.

"Nice," Vic smiled as the first song played, "One of my favorites, too."

Tony rolled his eyes again,

"It's for the kid," Tony walked back to behind the counter, Becca acting as his shadow.

"Who's this?" Mike asked, referring to Becca.

"This is my little sister, Becca" Tony replied, picking Becca up again.

Becca just buried her face into his neck.

"It's okay, Becca. They're my friends." Tony whispered into her ear.

Becca shook her head.

"She's almost as shy as Tony," Jaime said.

"I can see that," Mike answers.

"Leave them alone, Mikey," Vic nudges him, "It's okay Becca, I'm not offended. I think Mike's weird looking, too." Vic says with a small voice to Becca.

Mike nudges Vic back, harder for the comment.

Becca giggled into Tony's neck, causing Tony to giggle as well.

"Adorable, I love it!" Vic cheers.

Tony shakes his head and sits Becca down on the counter in front of him.

Becca turns to face Mike and Vic.

She covers her blushing face with her little hands.

"It's okay, sweets. They're nice, I promise." Tony says softly.

Mike smiles at the pet name, and looks at Tony. Tony meets his gaze and looks down immediately, his cheeks burning scarlet.

" 'Sweets'?" Mike asks.

Tony blushed deeper and scratched the back of his neck.

"Yeah," He begins, until Becca cuts him off,

"Or 'Princess'. Because I am a princess. Tony's only princess." Becca says, trying to sound intimidating.

That just causes Jaime, Mike, and Vic to laugh at her cuteness.

Tony's blushes to a deep brick red and covers his face with his hands.

Becca was opening up, and embarrassing him.

"And what do you call Tony, Becca?" Jaime asked, already knowing the answer.

Tony groaned and ducked his head to rest on the counter, burying his head in his arms.

"Tony's Snow White," Becca answered proudly.

"Snow White?" Vic asked, a huge grin spreading across his face.

Becca nodded.

"Mhm, Because he has her hair, and he always sings about his prince charming..." Becca blurted.

Tony shot up and covered his mouth with his hand.

He couldn't believe she just said that.

He put his hand over her mouth, but she continued to talked with a muffled voice.

Thankfully, muffled enough to not be understood.

"Okay, that's enough. She's high on sugar. She doesn't even understand what she's saying. You know what, Becca? Mom was right. No ice cream for you." Tony said in a rushed voice.

Becca slapped his hand away from her and pouted.

Tony looked down at her with a 'Really?' face.

"Don't make those eyes at me. You're in trouble."

"Chill, turtle. It's not like no one knows." Jaime said.

"I didn't," Mike says, his eyes locking on Tony.

Tony looked up at Mike and looked back at Jaime immediately.

"That's still not her place to blurt something out like that." Tony muttered.

Becca crossed her arms over her chest and huffed.

"Well, it's true!" She whined.

"That's enough," Tony says sternly.

"It's fine, Tony. Really," Vic says, still chuckling.

Tony sighs and buried his face in his hands again, resting his head on the counter once more.

"What is it you two need again?" Jaime asks.

"We came here to bug you two again." Mike admits.

Tony felt someone playing with his hair, he peeks up to see Becca sat beside him. running her small fingers through his raven hair.

Tony smiles at her, and Becca looks down and smiles back.

"Bug us with what?" Jaime asks,

"Just our company, and there's this gig Mike and I landed at this bar..." Vic begins.

"And what? You want us to check you guys out?" Jaime asked.

Becca beckons Tony with her finger. A child's way of asking him to come closer.

She cupped her hands around her mouth as if she was about to tell a secret.

Tony raised his head to hear her.

"I'm sorry, Snow White. I didn't mean to.." She whispers..

Tony shakes his head and kissed her on the cheek.

"Don't worry princess, I could never be mad at you." He whispers back, his tattooed fingers cupping his mouth.

"We actually wanted to see if you two could play with us..." Vic said, but his voice sort of begged.

That surely got Tony's attention.

He looked at Vic like he was just as insane as his request.

"Play?" Tony asked, his voice at a normal volume, probably the loudest Mike and Vic have heard it.

"Woah, no need to shout," Mike said laughing, putting his hands up in defense.

"Yeah, it's in a couple of days, and it's not like any of us are amateurs! We could practice in a couple of days... we'll see what it's like to play as a unit. I feel like it's really the opportunity... to... to..." Vic strained to find the words to complete his compelling argument.

"To see if we'd work as a band. To see if we could do this. And Vic and I think we, us four, can." Mike finished.

Vic nodded in approval, still scanning Tony and Jaime's faces for a response.

They both has shocked, yet skeptical looks on their faces.

"When?" Jaime asked.

Tony looked at Jaime to hope he was joking. He wasn't.

"It's the day after tomorrow."

"I can't. I'm visiting my step-mother." Tony said, almost sighing in relief that he had an excuse.

"Are you visiting her at 1 in the morning? Because that's the time it's at."

"I don't think so, sorry guys." Tony says.

"Do it, Snow White!" Becca cheers.

"Becca, shush." Tony replied.

"Come on, turtle. It'll be fun. We can do it! I know you're scared it won't work out. And so what if it doesn't? Right now, it's just four guys doing a small gig at a bar." Jaime said, trying to convince Tony himself.

"I don't know, Hime." Tony shook his head.

"The worst that could happen is that a bar full of drunks won't pay attention... What could go wrong, Antonio?" Jaime continued.

"What about Lydia?" Tony sighed, looking at Jaime with sad eyes.

"We'll still see her for dinner. We'll still meet the kids. We'll just leave when she puts them down for bed. Which will be well before the gig starts."

"No excises, young man." Jaime says, mocking the voice of his own mother.

Tony smiles and shakes his head.

"I hate you," Tony says softly to Jaime.

He looks at Mike and Vic who have pleading looks on their faces.

Tony thinks for a minute, then sighs.

"I'll do it," Tony begins, earning cheers from Jaime, Vic, Mike, and Becca, "But, I need to know where I'm going and when..."

"You meet at our place tonight if you can, tomorrow and Saturday morning to practice. Gig is at Ralph's. It's small bar just down the road from here" Vic says with the hugest grin on his face.

"Okay, I'll see what I can do." Tony sighed.

"I need an address!"

Vic writes their address on a sticky note and hands it to Tony.

"You have my number, call me if you need to."

Tony nods and takes the paper.

"We're only doing one song, so It'll be easy. I promise."

"What song?"

"Currents Convulsive. We'll go over sheet music when we get to it. You can bring your own instruments, but we have guitars and basses just in case."

"Sounds good."

"Can I go see you play, Snow White?" Becca asked.

"No, sweets. It'll be late, you'll be asleep."

"I'll stay up!"

"No, we're playing at a place for adults. Not for little princesses, okay?"

Becca crossed her arms over chest and huffed once more.

"Sorry, princess." Tony chuckled and kissed Becca on the top of her head.

"Okay, cool. I guess we'll see you two..."Vic begins, making his way slowly towards the door.

"We'll see... If Becca doesn't kill me, We'll make it tonight. If she does, tomorrow we're off at two." Tony says.

Vic nods.

"Okay, text me when you guys do come."

Tony nods.

"Bye, Becca! It was a treat meeting you!" Vic calls, waving at her.

"Bye!" Becca waves back with a huge smile.

"Bye, Becca!" Mike calls, waving at her as well.

"Bye!" Becca calls again, still waving.

The Fuentes brohter's left the shop and Jaime looked at Tony with a huge smile on his face.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into that," Tony groaned and stood Becca on the floor and of the counter.

"It'll be great, turtle. The last gig we played, we broke up a band. This will be good for us, for you!" Jaime insisted.

"I hope you're right," Tony glared playfully.

"I usually am,"

Hours passed with the usual. Customers walking in, taking a look, buying something they don't need, complimenting Becca, then walking out.

It exhausted everyone involved.

Becca yawned and leaned her entire body on the back of Tony's legs.

"You okay, princess?" Tony asked, yawning.

"I'm tired, Tony" Becca said, her voice small as she rubbed her sleepy eyes.

"I know, princess. So am I" Tony cooed, picking Becca up.

Becca leaned into Tony's neck and tried to fall asleep.

"You want me to call mommy? She should be able to pick you up and take you home." Tony asked.

Becca nodded and cuddled more into Tony.

Tony got his phone out of his pocket and dialed his mother's number.

"Mijo? Is everything okay?" She answered.

"Yeah, mom. Becca's just tired and she's falling asleep on the job." Tony joked.

Tony's mother chuckled.

"Okay, I'll take her off your hands. You need anything, baby?"

"Yeah, actually. could you bring my guitar, actually?"

"What for?"

"I'm meeting with some friends to play."

"Tony... you know how I feel about-" His mother warned sternly.

"I know, mom. It's nothing. I'm just playing around with a couple of guys." Tony lied, but he wouldn't dare tell his mother he was actually trying to pursue this.

"Use protection," His mother joked, pointing out the innuendo.

"Mom!" Tony whined.

"I'm just kidding, honey. I'll be there in ten."

"Okay, don't forget the picks!"

"I won't!'

"Okay, I love you."

"I Love you too, mijo." Tony hung up and cradled Becca in his arms.

"You baby her too much," Jaime says.

"Shut up, she's a baby." Tony replies.

"She's five!" Jaime says louder, flailing his arms about.

"She's still a baby to me! She's my little sister! You told me you were the same way with Chris when he was Becca's age!" Tony defends.

"You're right... It's just... you act like you're her dad sometimes, you stress too much about her..." Jaime shrugs.

"Someone has to..." Tony muttered.

It always made him sick how someone could just leave Becca behind like her father did. He had never felt more hate for someone than he did for Becca's father.

Becca's father left Tony's mother with two kids, no money, no job, no food, no anything.

But most importantly, he left Becca with no father figure. No one but Tony to look up to.

Luckily, when Becca was born, Tony was 16. He was legally allowed to work on a minimum wage pay roll.

He helped his mom out the best he could, and he was the main support for nearly three years.

Sure, they got some help from the government, but Tony never felt he could give his family enough.

With that on his chest, along with Brendan still running his life, Tony was a robot. Living to please everyone.

The only attribute Tony had that a robot didn't, was the only attribute he didn't want.

He still felt.

He felt the pressure of providing.

He felt the guilt for providing for Brendan.

He felt the stress for not providing enough for Becca and his mother.

He felt betrayed, because Becca's father was the first man in Tony's life, after his father, that he loved and trusted.

He felt hurt because he saw Rick as his own father figure, and was excited to hear he's be raising his little sister.

Tony would never forgive Rick for that.

Jaime knew that.

Jaime knew that all too well.

"Tony, I didn't-" Jaime tried to apologize.

But Tony was already annoyed with him.

"Becca's trying to sleep."

Tony stood silent in thought, rocking a sleeping Becca back and forth in his arms.

Thinking of Rick, unfortunately, always made him think of Brendan.

And boy, did he hate thinking about Brendan.


	8. Take what's left of me, a broken fragment from before.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Physical and verbal abuse. Mentions of rape and eating disorders.

"I told you, it was nothing... I promise." Tony whispered, looking down at his hands.

"Tony, don't lie to me. Don't think you're ever capable of doing that..." Brendan warned, his voice flat.

"I'm not," Tony repeated, his voice orotund

"Do NOT talk back to me." Brendan spat.

Tony looked up at Brendan with sad eyes and nodded.

"I'm sorry," Tony mumbled, his voice shrinking.

Brendan sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Stop acting like a baby, Tony."

"I'm sorry," Tony repeated.

"I said STOP IT!" Brendan yelled, slapping Tony hard on his cheek.

Tony could feel his cheek stinging, and tears welled up in his eyes.

"Do NOT cry!" Brendan yelled, his voice getting louder.

"You'll wake the baby, Brendan. Please..." Tony pleaded quietly, motioning for Brendan to lower his voice.

Tony's mother was going to be gone all day, so she left Tony and Brendan in charge of watching the newest addition to their family. A baby girl named Becca.

"Let that brat wake up! I don't care about that whiney bitch, Tony!" Brandon said, his voice booming.

Tony immediately felt anger begin to grow in his stomach.

He loved his baby sister Becca, and he would not allow anyone, including Brendan, talk about her like that.

But Tony knew, for his own safety, he better stay quiet.

"You're losing weight," Brendan commented, his voice back to normal.

Tony looked at him confused.

Even though he knew damn well what Brendan was talking about.

"Speak to me, god damnit." Brendan muttered.

"I don't know what-" Tony began, until Brendan groaned obnoxiously.

"What are you, stupid? You haven't been eating, Tony. You're losing weight."

"I know."

"Good. That's good." Brandon nodded.

Tony just nodded, too.

His boyfriend had just responded to his eating disorder as if he were proud.

Nodding was the only thing Tony could bring himself to do.

"Well, if you're not going to eat, at least act like it. I don't want your whore mother thinking I'm doing this to you,"

But you are, Tony thought to himself.

"Don't-" Tony began defending his mother.

"You're not speaking. I didn't ask you to." Brendan said sternly, leaning towards Tony.

"But-"

"YOU ARE NOT SPEAKING," Brendan yelled, he sunk back into his chair and said, at a normal tone,

"Where have you been, Tony?"

Tony looked at him confused again. This time, he really didn't get it.

Tony had been working, and going to school.

Like he always had.

What was he Talking about?

"Every time I come to see you, All I see is your whore mother, and your whiney brat."

"Don't talk about them like that,"

Brendan stood up and immediately hit Tony square in the cheek again.

Instead of an open-hand slap, Brendan opted for a balled fist.

"Do not avoid the question. DO NOT interrupt me. You understand?" Brendan spat.

Tony nodded and held his face with his hand.

"Alright," Brendan sat, "Before I was rudely interrupted..."

"Where have you been, Tony?

"Don't worry about it," Tony muttered.

Brendan stood up and immediately took a fistful of Tony's hair.

He tugged tightly, causing Tony to jerk his head back and wince.

"Say it again." Brendan threatened through his teeth.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Tony said quickly.

Brendon threw Tony's head back and let go of his hair.

Brendan sat back down in his chair and glared at Tony.

Tony massaged his hair for a moment before Brendan spoke.

"I'm going to ask you again. And you are going to answer correctly. Do you understand me?" Brendan asked, his voice low and harsh.

Tony nodded and sniffled.

"Where have you been, Tony?" Brendan repeated, folding his hands on the table top.

Tony swallowed and looked down at his own hands.

"I've had to work more lately, Brendan." Tony whispered.

"Why?" Brendan asked, not satisfied with Tony's answer.

"You know why," Tony replied.

Becca's father was a part of Tony's life for the past couple of years.

Becca's father was the breadwinner in Tony's life for the past couple of years.

Becca's father was Tony's current father figure.

Becca's father was the closest bond Tony had had in years, since his own father passed.

Becca's father was always there, until Becca happened.

It hurt Tony more than anything that his baby sister couldn't have a daddy like he did when he was growing up.

It hurt Tony even more when his mom was upset because she wasn't able to work and provide for her kids.

Luckily, Tony was.

Tony was 16, legally allowed to be apart of any payroll that would hire him.

He'd been picking up as many shifts at the grocery store as he could the past couple of weeks.

Just to help his mom out.

Brendan rolled his eyes, but nodded.

"Just live with me, Tony. I make enough to provide for you." Brendan teased.

Tony shook his head.

He would never move in with Brendan. For two obvious reasons.

He would never leave his mom and sister behind. And he wasn't going to let Brendan abuse him any more than he currently does.

"I'm not going to do that."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to live with you,"

"Why not?" Brendan repeated, his voice getting angry.

Tony shrugged.

Just then, Tony's mother walked through the door.

"Hello, you two." She greets with a smile.

Brendan's green eyes lit up, and he smiled back at her.

"Hey, Momma Perry," Brendan greeted, his voice instantly honeyed.

Tony raised the corners of his mouth to resemble a smile.

"Hi, mom." Tony forces out.

"You alright, baby?" Mrs. Perry asks Tony.

Tony nods, and Brendan takes his hand, softly. Tony forces another smile as his mom goes upstairs to check on Becca.

"You idiot, she's on to you," Brendan whispers.

After a few moments of silence, Mrs. Perry comes downstairs with Becca tucked in her carseat.

"You boys hungry?" She asks.

"No, thank you." Brendan declined politely.

Tony swallowed and shook his head. Truthfully, Tony hadn't had a full meal in two weeks, and was starving.

"Are you sure you're alright, mijo?" Mrs. Perry persists, throwing her purse over her shoulder.

"I'm fine, mom." Tony murmured.

"Okay. Well... The baby has an appointment with the pediatrician.. SO we'll be back in a few hours. I'll bring dinner in, alright?" She asks.

Tony nods and smiles.

"Okay mom. Bye, I love you."

"I love you too, baby." Mrs. Perry smiles at her son, and took the car seat with her as she leaves the house.

"I'll see you later, Brendan!" She called as she left.

Brendan smiles and waves to her until she's gone.

Brendon shot a glare at Tony and took another fistful of his hair.

"Ah, Please don't!" Tony cried out.

Brendan shook his head and jerked Tony's hair towards the floor, knocking Tony onto his feet.

"Brendan, please!" Tony pleaded, trying to get his hair from Brendan's tight grip.

"Shut up!" Brendan yelled, and tugged harder, earning a yelp of pain from Tony.

Brendan smirked at the smaller boy crying out in pain, and started dragging him into the hallway by the hair.

"Brendan!" Tony cried, tears beginning to fall.

"Shut UP!" Brendan spat, pulling harder, getting Tony to the base of the staircase.

All Brendan heard was Tony's sobs, and him trying to crawl away.

Brendan threw Tony's head back, letting go of his hair.

Tony's head jerked back and hit the tile floor on the base of the staircase.

Tony held the back of his head and the hot tears flowed faster.

Brendan smirked and straddled Tony's hips.

"You're going to stop fucking crying for once, got it?" He threatened through his teeth into Tony's ear.

Tony let out a hitched breath and nodded.

Brendan chuckled deviously and got off of Tony.

Brendan chucked Tony up off the floor by his shirt collar.

Tony shot up and was immediately dragged up the stairs, his shins harshly scraping against each step.

Tony mentally thanked someone as Brendan finally reached the top of the stairs.

Brendan continued dragging Tony into Tony's bedroom.

Tony stumbled into his bedroom behind Brendan, and Brendan shut the door behind Tony.

Brendan slammed Tony against the closed door and brought his face centimeters away from Tony's.

"You were being a bit rude, don't you think?" Brendan asked, with a stentorian voice.

Tony nodded, his eyes flashed with fear, as his body was crushed between Brendan and the door.

"Bren-" Tony choked out, as he tried prying Brendan off of him.

Brendan pushed his entire weight against Tony's smaller frame and smirked.

"What was that?" Brendan taunted.

"Please," Tony pleaded, searching Brendan's green eyes for the light he fell in love with years ago.

But Brendan's eyes lost all light, and any reflection of it. His once bright, light green eyes, grown to a dark shade of hazel.

Brendan wrapped an open hand around Tony's neck and throat.

Tony reached and placed his soft hands over Brendan's rough and calloused ones, trying to pry them off of him.

"Bren-," Tony choked out again, as Brendan squeezed hard of Tony's throat.

Tony began kicking his feet, leaving Brendan to pull him up, so his feet wouldn't touch the floor.

Tony tried gasping for air, only earning him a tighter grip around his trachea.

Tony continued to kick the air frantically.

Tony was digging his nails into Brendan's flesh, trying to get him to release his nearly bone-crushing grip.

Brendan watched as the dim light began to leave Tony's eyes. Brendan smiled.

Tony slowly stopped kicking and his nails stopped digging into Brendan's hands.

Tony stared into the eyes he once fell in love with, but couldn't find them

All he saw staring back at him was the eyes of the man who might just kill him in a minute.

Just before Tony could feel himself slipping out of consciousness, Brendan released his grip completely.

Tony hit the ground with a thud, tears instantaneously flowing faster than ever. Tony crying as he held his throat softly.

Tony gasped for air, only to sob harder.

Tony took in short, sharp breaths, only to cry them out instantly.

He sat on his butt, his body racking with broken sobs.

Brendan stood and watched Tony's little figure sobbing harder than ever before.

Tony's cries became louder, and more stressed. His whole body began shaking violently.

Brendan frowned and sat beside his boyfriend on the floor.

Tony covered his face, and leaned forward until his face touched the floor. Tony continued crying and shaking.

"Shh. It'll be okay," Brendan cooed, entirely soft-spoken. His voice more gentle than ever.

Tony continued to shake, but the sobbing took a sudden halt.

Brendan placed a gentle hand on Tony's back. Brendan softly rubbed comforting circles along Tonys backside.

Tony flinched at Brendan's touch, and the shaking began to subside slightly.

Tony looked up from the floor, at Brendan.

He saw Brendan beside him, looking down at him with a gentle face.

Tony sat up, and faced Brendan.

Brendan wrapped his arm around Tony's waist and pulled Tony closer gently.

Tony went with Brendan's grip, leading him to cuddle into Brendan's side.

"It's alright, baby. I got you now." Brendan whispered 'lovingly' into Tony's ear.

And that's when Tony lost it.

Tony broke down and sobbed into Brendan's shoulder.

"It's okay, baby. Everything's alright." Brendan comforted quietly.

"You nearly killed me," Tony mustered, his voice extremely brittle.

"Shh," Brendan said, rubbing Tony's back.

Tony sat up again, pushing Brendan away from him.

"I can't do this anymore!" Tony cried, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"What do you mean, baby?"

"I can't, Brendan! I can't keep living like this." Tony yelled, finally earning his voice.

Brendan looked at Tony as if he were the insane one.

"You hit me. You kick me. You punch me. You pull my hair. You yell at me. You scream at me! You pinch me! You burn me! YOU cut me! You Hurt me EVERY DAY! You RAPE ME! EVERYDAY! I can't do this."

Brendan stayed silent, his face giving away no emotion.

"Then you cuddle me after it's over. As if you love me. You hug me, you kiss me. You tell me how beautiful I am. You hold me close. You hold me gently. You act like you love me after nearly killing me. Why is that? It's the pretending that's killing me the most, Brendan. I can't do this anymore!" Tony finished, leaving silent tears to fall rapidly.

Brendan nodded, pulling Tony onto his lap.

Brendan placed sweet kisses along Tony's face, feathering down his chin and along his neck.

Tony sighed, and tears continued to fall.

He was trapped.

Brendan wasn't listening to him.

That shattered Tony's world.

He was never getting out of this, and that ruined him.

He was stuck, and nothing could get him out.

"Tony!" Tony heard Jaime call.

"Tony!" Jaime repeated.

Tony snapped out of it and looked at him. Tony could feel his heart racing and his breath becoming eradicated.

"Huh?" Tony asked, he looked around and saw he was in the shop. "Wh-What happened?"

"You spaced out again." Jaime whispered.

Tony took deep breaths in and out until he felt his heart rate grow back to normal.

It wasn't until then he finally noticed his mother standing there, with a sleeping Becca in her arms.

"Mom? Wha-"

"Tony, I've been here for about five minutes. You've been totally unresponsive and I was so scared, mijo. Are you alright?" His mother asked, as she got closer to Tony and looked at his face.

"Yeah, mom. I'm fine."

"Has this happened before? What's going on?" She persisted.

"Nothing, mom. Just.. take Becca home and kiss her goodnight for me. Tell her I'll be home soon." Tony said.

"Will you?" His mother asked.

"Probably not."

"Tony, baby, I don't know. Maybe you should come home right now. "

"Mom, I-"

"Yes, baby, I know you have work and music or whatever. But I'm just worried about you, son."

"I know mom. But I'll be fine. I swear. It was just... It was just a bad memory. That's all it was." Tony assured his worried mother. Tony got closer to her and planted a kiss on the top Becca's head.

"Okay, but we're talking about this later, Tony." She replied, waving her finger at him.

Tony turned the corners of his mouth up to resemble a smile and nodded.

Tony's mother kissed him on the cheek and began leaving the shop.

"Don't be out too late, Tony"

"Mom, I'm 21 years old!" Tony called after her as she exited the shop.

She tucked Becca into the back seat and drove off.

"Wait, my-" Tony began. looking for his guitar that his mother was supposed to bring him.

"Dude, she walked in with it. You were just somewhere else." Jaime assured, pulling the guitar in it's case from behind the counter.

Tony nodded and looked down at it.

"What happened, turtle? What was it that bothered you?"

Tony shrugged.

"It was nothing, Hime."

"It obviously wasn't nothing. You spaced out for like ten minutes. I've never seen you like that, for that long before."

Tony shrugged again.

"It was just another memory of Brendan.." Tony mumbled.

"Will you ever tell me what it is he did to you? It's starting to worry me, Tony." Jaime asked.

"I know it worries you. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. Not now, anyway."

"Seriously, all I know is that you had a tough ending to a long relationship with Brendan, but from what I've experienced with you... It is so much more than a tough breakup, Tony. So what is it?"

"Drop it, Hime. I don't want to talk about it." Tony sighed.

"Fine," Jaime grumbled.

"Call Vic and tell him we'll be over in an hour." Tony instructs as he makes his way to the employee restroom.

Jaime nods, takes in a deep breath and dials Vic's phone number.

He was born ready for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2447. This actually should've been up on Friday, but my internet was down. so sad.
> 
> Anyway... It's April 20th, Easter Sunday.
> 
> I'm a straight-edge atheist, but I'll say it for those who aren't either of those things.
> 
> Happy 420 day and Happy Easter!
> 
> Hope you have wonderful day. Another update should come sooner than usual since I'm currently on spring break.
> 
> Hope you all have a beautiful time with friends, family, fictional character, or even by yourself!
> 
> I love you guys!
> 
> xx


	9. As of late, the sun doesn't seem to shine so bright.

Two long rings, then his voice broke the sound.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Uh… Vic?” Jaime said, his voice unsteady.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, It’s me. Jaime”

“Oh, hey. What’s up?”

“Well, Tony and I are off work in a bit… So we thought… um…” Jaime began.

“You guys want to come over and start practicing? We have a lot to go over.” Vic asked.

Jaime smiled, then nodded…. then realized Vic couldn’t see that response.

“Yeah. We’ll uh.. Be there in an hour… If that’s alright..”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you guys then.”

“Alright… Later,”

“Bye”

The line went dead and Jaime sighed. He hung up the phone and ran his fingers through his hair.

“That was just pathetic,” Tony taunted, as he stood watching Jaime from the corner of the room.

“Shut up,” Jaime groaned.

“Come on, you’re not shy Jaime. You’re never shy. You’re game was weak..” Tony persisted.

“Shut up,” Jaime repeated.

“You really need to up every aspect of that,” Tony said, trying to hold back a fit of giggles.

“When’s the last time you’ve tried flirting with somebody?” Jaime asked, his voice in a matter-of-fact tone.

“I’ve never had to,” Tony shrugged, a giggle escaping his lips.

“You’ve never had to flirt? You’ve never had to put on that turtle charm of yours?” Jaime teased back.

“Nope, I was always too shy to flirt with anyone, so I never did.”

“But-”

“James saw me here in this shop, he thought I was cute, so he started talking to me… From what he got out of me, which as you could expect, not much, he decided I was crush material… Then he started flirting with me. I’ve never had to flirt with anyone… It’s up to them, or not at all.” Tony explained with another signature shrug.

“Is that what happened with Brendan as well?” Jaime asked, his voice low. He didn’t want to trigger Tony again.

Tony thought for a second.

“I don’t even remember.. He was my first boyfriend. I met him when I was 6, started going out with him when I was 13…” Tony trailed.

“How did you two start going out? I imagine you as a 13 year old stud, Tony.”

Tony giggled and shook his head.

“Brendan and I were friends, for a long time. He was there for me when my dad died. He was there when I was having trouble with believing in myself.. I loved him like I love you a long time before he asked me to be his boyfriend.” Tony explained, Jaime nodded.

“I didn’t know I was gay until I talked to Brendan about it,” Tony began, allowing one of the very few pleasant memories of Brendan engulf him.

* * *

 

_“Momma Perry! Momma Perry!” Tony heard Brendan call from upstairs._

_He heard his mother talk to Brendan for a second before he heard the familiar sound of feet running up the stairs._

_Tony smiled and sat up on his bed, his head turning to the door._

_“Tony!” Brendan called as he ran through the door, clearly excited or anxious about something._

_Brendan was in his winter coat and boots._

_“Brendan, what is it?” Tony asked, his attention turning back to the comic he was reading._

_Brendan stood silent, looking down at his shoes._

_The silence made Tony turn back to look at his best friend._

_“Is everything okay, Bren?” Tony asked, as he stood and walked towards Brendan._

_Brendan looked up at Tony and his green eyes soften, and his face lit up._

_“Tone, can we go for a walk?” Brendan asked._

_Tony looked at Brendan, his face was a cocktail of confusion and concern._

_“Y-Yeah, Let me ask my mom,” Tony began, opening the door of his bedroom._

_“I already did, let’s just go.” Brendan said as he tugged Tony’s arm, walked past him and led Tony down the stairs._

_Tony got his coat from the coat rack in the common room._

_“Ready?” Brendan asked Tony._

_Tony nodded and smiled._

_The two boys exited the warm Perry home and walked into the cold, crisp, winter evening._

_Brendan shoved his hands in his pockets and walked beside Tony silently._

_Once they got far enough from their neighborhood, Tony asked again._

_“Is everything alright, Brendan?”_

_Brendan nodded quickly._

_“Mhm, fine.” He muttered, his face still showing obvious signs of anxiety._

_Tony nodded and watched his best friend._

_Brendan was obviously thinking of something important. Tony knew it._

_Brendan was also obviously scared to talk to Tony about it, and that worried him._

_“Bren,” Tony began, he stopped in his tracks and put his hand on Brendan’s shoulder._

_“Hm?” Brendan asked as he turned around and met Tony’s eyes._

_“You can tell me anything, you know that… anything. I’ll always be there for you, Bren. You’re worried about something, and it’s worrying me.”_

_Tony saw Brendan’s face fall and tear well up in Brendan’s eyes._

_Brendan pulled Tony into a tight hug. Tony smiled and buried his face into Brendan’s shoulder, and hugged Brendan back._

_“Thank you, turtle.” Brendan whispered._

_Tony nodded into Brendan’s shoulder._

_“That means a lot.”_

_“I’ll be there no matter what. Because you’re always there for me,” Tony whispered._

_Brendan laughed and pulled away from the hug. He wiped his tears off of his face._

_“Now are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?” Tony asked._

_Brendan nodded._

_“Just promise you won’t tell anyone,” Tony nodded._

_“And promise we’ll still be friends after…”_

_Tony scoffed,_

_“Of course, Bren. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”_

_Brendan chuckled and looked down at his shoes._

_“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Brendan muttered to himself._

_“What do you-” Tony began before he was cut off by Brendan’s lips._

_Tony froze entirely as Brendan kissed him._

_Brendan cupped Tony’s face with his hands and poured his soul into one kiss._

_Once he felt Tony tensed and frozen, Brendan pulled back and covered his mouth with his hand._

_“Tony, I am so sorry…” Brendan began, tears welling up in his eyes again._

_Tony was silent, and he brought a hand to his own lips in awe._

_“Tony, I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” Brendan began, his breath becoming eradicated._

_Tony cut Brendan off just as Brendan did to him a few seconds ago._

_This time, Tony was the one to pull Brendan close, and snake his arms around Brendan’s neck._

_Brendan melted into the kiss and smiled against Tony’s lips._

_Brendan wrapped his arms gently around Tony’s waist and pulled Tony in, closing the remaining space between them._

_Tony and Brendan’s lips moved against each other beautifully until Tony pulled back from Brendan’s._

_Both boys stood breathless._

_“Why’d you do that?” Brendan asked, absolutely shocked. His eyes were wide, and a harsh blush crept on his cheeks. Not fromt the cold evening air, but from the heated kiss._

_“You did it first… And I liked it… and I needed to be sure.” Tony admitted, as he looked down at his shoes, the tip of his nose growing pink._

_Brendan chuckled and ruffled Tony’s raven hair._

_Tony looked up at Brendan with a small grin._

_Brendan smiled back at Tony and planted another sweet kiss on Tony’s lips._

_“I love you, Tony.” Brendan whispered in Tony’s ear as he pulled Tony into a tight hug._

_“I love you too, Brendan.” Tony closed his eyes and buried his face in the crook of Brendan’s neck, cuddling into Brendan’s warmth._

* * *

 

Tony smiled at the sweet memory and his fingers raised to his lips.

“That sounds adorable,” Jaime gawked.

Without realizing it, Tony had narrated the entire thing.

Tony blushed and covered his face with his hands.

“Yeah, it was. I really loved Brendan. For seven years… But I didn’t love him like that until that day,” Tony began,

“And it all made sense… We both went home for dinner. I was absolutely terrified, but I told my mom everything that happened, and she smiled. She almost looked like she was going to cry…”

 

“She hugged me and kissed me, she said she had known. She knew I was gay. She knew I loved Brendan. She knew Brendan loved me. She knew. She always knew”

 

” And, apparently, my dad knew too. Before he died, anyway. He knew, Lydia knew. Apparently, everyone knew… except me, and my last step-father…”

 

“ And she was happy I found out, and that it was because of Brendan. She was happy that I was being myself. She was happy that I was happy,” Tony smiled, remembering the time he came out to his mother with a mouth full of pizza.

 

“And, what? You two just started dating after that?” Jaime asked.

 

“We ‘dated’ a little before he asked me to be his boyfriend. That happened when I was like 13 ½. When I turned 14…” Tony began, and his face fell.

 

“What?” Jaime asked, concern flashing across his face.

 

“That’s when it all started going wrong..” Tony muttered, trying to shake the thought from his mind.

“Tony, you know you don’t have to tell me. But know that I will listen. I’ll be there for you. You can tell me anything.” Jaime assured.

“I know, Hime.” Tony nodded.

“But I’m trying to leave it on the back-burner  for now, okay? I’ll tell you one day, I’m sure.”

Jaime nodded and pulled Tony into a hug.

“Did you call Victor?” Tony asked, pulling out of Jaime’s grip.

“Yeah, I told him we’re off soon and we’ll be there in an hour or so.”

Tony nodded.

“I’m nervous,” He groaned.

Tony leaned his head on the counter and sighed.

“Don’t be, turtle. You’re an amazing guitar player. I know that, you know that, and apparently Vic and Mike know that. You’ll do fine. They already like you, they just want to be sure that you like them too.” Jaime assured.

Tony smiled and hid his face.

“But-”

“No buts, Tony. They practically begged you to practice with them. They have faith in you, and it’s time for you to have faith in yourself.”

Tony sighed and looked up at Jaime.

“They like you, what if they just want you.” Tony asked, his voice growing soft.

Jaime sighed and shook his head.

“Even if that were true, which it most definitely is not, we’re a packaged deal.” Jaime smiles and throws an arm around Tony.

Tony smiles and nods.

“We’re in this together. Whether you like it or not.” said Jaime.

“You think we’ll be able to play a song that’s totally new to us in two days?”

“I’m sure we can. We pick up things pretty easily, and even if we don’t.. We’ll be fine.” Jaime assured.

“How is it you always know what to say?” Tony asked.

“I just do, Turtle. It’s a gift.” Jaime shrugged.

“Our shift is over in five. We should get to closing.” Tony said, looking at the clock.

Jaime nodded and began clearing up the floor.

“Do you need to get your bass?” Tony asked as he walked to the back room.

“Yeah, we’ll get it on the way.” Jaime called back.

Tony got the stuff needed to clean up, and walked back to the floor.

Tony was still getting the nerves of practicing and playing with Vic and Mike for the first time.

He was still very unsure of the whole thing.

Tony was wiping the windows clean when he turned to Jaime desperately.

“So you’re not at all nervous?” Tony asked.

“Not really. I mean, a little. But that’s normal.” Jaime shrugged.

“So it’s normal for me to be freaking out right now?”

“It’s normal to be nervous, but you’re putting too much thought into this. It’s one song at a bar, Tony.”

“It’s not that. I’m scared. What if Mike and Vic were wrong or what if I mess up and they hate me?” Tony asked and he began chewing on his lip.

“Tony, you really need to stop doubting yourself,” Jaime began before Tony cut him off.

“I have self esteem issues, Jaime! I hate myself and you’re telling me to stop doubting myself?”

Tony yelled, clearly setting off another panic attack.

“Tony, Tony. Calm down.” Jaime said softly as he quickly approached Tony.

“I can’t, I can’t do it, Hime.” Tony replied, running his fingers through his hair and tugging harshly.

“Tone, you need to calm down.” Jaime said as his voice shrunk to avoid frightening Tony.

Tony’s breath pattern lost it’s steady rhythm and Tony’s heart started racing.

“I c-can’t, Jaime.” Tony choked out, his palms sweating as he tugged on his hair harder.

“Tony, stop it. You’re hurting yourself, buddy.” Jaime urged softly.

“C-can’t” Tony breathed out, his voice quavering as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Tony, calm down. Breathe, Tony. Breathe.” Jaime whispered.

Tony’s breath became more shaky and his heart raced faster.

Hot tears fell down Tony’s face as he trembled.

“Come on, Tone. Seven in, eleven out.” Jaime recited.

Tony nodded and shakily took Jaime’s hand, squeezing his own eyes shut tight.

“Seven in, eleven out.” Jaime repeated.

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven

Tony inhaled.

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven

Tony exhaled.

Jaime cupped Tony’s face in his hands as he repeated the steady breath exercise.

After 10 solid minutes of silence, nothing heard but Tony’s Seven-Eleven breathing, Tony sighed and opened his eyes.

His face had soften, and his breathing was normal. Heart rate was fine.

“You alright?” Jaime asked.

Tony nodded as his lip quivered, tears continued to fall.

Jaime pulled Tony close and held him.

Tony cried into Jaime’s shoulder, his body was still trembling.

“Shh, It’s alright” Jaime whispered into Tony’s ear.

Tony continued to cry into Jaime’s shoulder,

“It’s alright, Tony. I got you,” Jaime rubbed small, comforting circles into Tony’s back.

Tony hadn’t been so thankful to have someone like Jaime in his life, since…

Well, since Brendan.

But Tony took comfort in that thought.

As he wouldn’t have someone like Brendan in his life again, or at least he hoped.

But he knew now to surround himself with people like Jaime.

Tony knew that he only needed people like Jaime.

And Jaime only needed people like Tony.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7-11 breathing does work and is a popular method in meditation. try it out.


	10. I guess I'll be honest, I could use you around

“Let’s go, I think we’re done here,” Jaime whispered.

Tony looked up, wiped his tears, and nodded.

“Are you okay, Tony?” Jaime asked, studying Tony’s face.

Tony sniffled and shrugged.

“Better,” Tony answered.

Jaime nodded and pat his back.

Tony and Jaime clocked out after their shift was up and they locked up, and walked into the parking lot.

Tony’s phone rang the second they exited the shop.

Tony looked confused and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

Tony didn’t recognize the number, but picked up anyway.

“Hello?”

“Babe! Oh, I’ve missed your voice.” The other end exclaimed.

Jaime unlocked his car, and Tony put his guitar and backpack in the back seat.

“James?” Tony asked, hardly recognizing the voice.

“How are things at the shop? You two haven’t burnt it to the ground, have you?” James chuckled.

Tony smiled instantly and got into the car with Jaime. The two left to stop at Jaime’s.

“No, everything’s fine. I’ve missed you, though.”

“I know, baby. I’ve missed you, too. It’s only two more weeks.” James assured, Tony could hear the smirk appear on his face.

“What is it you’re doing exactly?” Tony asked.

“I told you, Tone. I’m doing some training with other managers.”

“But why? Why all of a sudden?”

“It wasn’t up to me, Tony.” James sighed.

Tony sighed too.

“I know, but… Nevermind. Is that what all the other managers are doing? Is that why it’s just Jaime and I?”

“They’re doing a different kind of thing, but primarily, yes. They’re all away bettering their work ethics.” James explained.

Tony nodded.

“Oh, Okay. And they’ll be back when you come back?” Tony asked.

“Well, they might be back a little earlier than I will. Like a few days earlier.”

“Why?” Tony frowned.

“I’m a different kind of manager. A shop owner. I have more things to learn. I have more things to get better at, babe. But, I’ll be home soon, I promise.”

“Okay, I understand.”

“Alright, I gotta get to bed, babe. I’m in New York, So it’s a bit later over here.” James yawned.

“Alright, wait… what number are you calling from? I didn’t recognize it.”

“Oh, uh… The hotel pay phone… So don’t try and call it back, okay?” James replied.

“Okay, I’ll let you go, then. Goodnight.”

“Night, Tony.”

“I love you,”

“I Love you too, I’ll talk to you soon.” James said and hung up.

Tony sighed and put his phone in his pocket.

“James?” Jaime asked, pulling into his driveway.

“Yeah,” Tony replied.

“Come in with me, my mom misses you.” Jaime said.

Tony nodded and got out of the car with him.

They house was lit warmly with dim lamps in the dining room.

“Jaimito! ¿Estás en casa?” The two heard the familiar voice call.

“Sí, Mama.” Jaime replied and closed the door behind him.

A middle aged woman appeared from the hallway with a tired look on her face.

“¿Qué pasa, mamá?” Jaime asked.

She sighed, and saw Tony standing there.

A wide smile appeared on her face.

“Oi, mi precioso, Tony. ¿Cómo estás, mijo?” She gushed, pinching Tony’s cheeks.

Tony was like a third son to Jaime’s mom.

“I’ve been great,” Tony replied with a smile.

“How have you been?” Tony asked as Jaime ran up the stairs to get his bass.

Mrs. Preciado motioned for Tony to sit at the dining room table.

The two sat and she replied,

“I’ve been good. How’s your mom?”

“She’s doing great, actually. She’s been working more. She seems happier now.”

“And you?”

“I’m getting better everyday,” Tony lied with a smile.

Don’t get him wrong, since the last time he saw Jaime’s mom, he has made a lot of progress recovering.

But lately, he’s been feeling himself slipping back.

But he hasn’t even told Jaime, so he surely wouldn’t tell his even more concerned mother.

“That’s good, Tony. You’re such a good boy. You deserve to be happy.” Mrs. Preciado said lovingly.

Tony smiled and nodded.

“Thank you,” Tony swallowed, “How’s Chris?”

“Tony, he’s doing great. He’s getting high marks at school, Jaime’s helping him with soccer. You should come with us to a game sometime.”

“I will, soon. I promise.” Tony smiled.

“You do know Christopher sees you as a brother just as much as Jaime, right?” She asked.

Tony smiled and looked down at his hands.

He nodded.

“I know. I’m sorry. I-... It’s just… My mom’s been on me about work and school…” Tony began.

“I know I haven’t visited much lately. Not nearly as much as I want to, anyway.”

“Don’t worry about it, mijo. If you’re doing well, that’s all that matters.”

Tony nodded again.

“How’s your sister?” She asked.

Tony smiled wide.

“She’s good. She’s gotten so big,” Tony began, the thought of Becca instantly brightening his mood.

“Jaime says I need to stop babying her… But she’s still my baby,” Tony finished.

Jaime’s mother nodded.

“That’s what kids do to you, Tony. I bet your mother’s the same with you. No matter how old you boys get, you’re still our babies. Never forget that.” Mrs. Preciado said, waving her finger around.

Tony chuckled.

“I know. Becca looks up to me. But it kind of worries me.” Tony admitted.

“Why?”

“I don’t want to be the only fatherly influence in her life. I don’t want to have to be like a parent to her. I want to be her brother. I want her to be able to trust me with things she wouldn’t trust my mom with. I want us to be normal siblings. I don’t want people constantly thinking she’s my kid.”

“Tony, you did what any brother would do. Jaime did the same thing with Chris when their father left. It’s not bad to be a fatherly figure to Becca. She needs that in her life. And honestly, You’re doing the best for her. You’re caring for her and loving her more than usual. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Tony sighed and looked down at his hands again.

“Mijo, you and your mother are doing what you can. You two are doing great.” She assured with a smile.

“She’s a good girl. She’s kind and caring…” Tony started.

“She got that from you, Tony.”

“Yeah, but she’s shy. She’s anti social. I’m the only person she ever wants to be around. And I love her to death, but that’s not good for her.”

“She’ll grow out of it, mijo. I promise. Right now, she’s still little. She grow up and make friends. She’ll be fine. Just let her love you for right now,” Mrs. Preciado joked.

Tony nodded and smiled.

“As long as you love her, she’ll be fine. That’s all she’ll ever need, Right? For her big brother to love her.”

Tony nodded.

“I’d take every bullet in the world for her.”

Mrs. Preciado took Tony’s hand into her own.

“You’ll be a great father someday, mijo. I just know it. You are so loving and loyal. How did your mama raise such a precious boy?”

“You know I hear you, right?” Jaime muttered as he came downstairs with his bass in his hand, and Chris following shortly behind him.

“¡Cállate, Jaime!” Mrs. Preciado said as she lightly swatted her hand.

“Why do you love Tony more than me?” Jaime asked, with mock hurt tone.

He dramatically placed his hand over his chest and frowned.

“Who wouldn’t?” Chris asked, and walked over to greet Tony.

“How are you, Chris?” Tony asked, standing up to greet him.

“I’m 13, and I’m taller than you and Hime,” Chris teased, noticing the height difference.

Tony shook his head and ruffled his hair.

“I know, cut it out.” Tony joked.

“What about you, Tone?”

“I’m alright,” Tony shrugged.

“You’re mom tells me you're doing well in school…” Tony said, wanting to change the subject.

“Yeah,” Chris shrugged.

“Better than Jaime did, anyway…”

“What is it? Make fun of Jaime day?” Jaime asked, throwing his hands up.

“Everyday,” Tony joked in a singsong voice.

Jaime rolled his eyes and opened the front door.

“Alright, ma. Tony and I are leaving.” Jaime said, walking to his car.

“Where are you two going?” Jaime’s mother asked Tony.

“We’re gonna play music with some guys.” Tony said.

“Alright, Tony. It was lovely seeing you again,” Mrs. Preciado smiled and hugged him.

“It was nice seeing you, too. I promise I’ll visit more.” Tony replied.

Mrs. Preciado pulled away and smiled wider.

“Good,”

“I’ll see you around, Chris!” Tony waved as he left behind Jaime, closing the front door behind himself.

“That was… interesting,” Tony breathed as he entered the car with Jaime.

“Yeah… They’re odd.” Jaime shrugged.

“It’s not that, I love your family. It’s just.. your mom got me thinking.”

“About?” Jaime asked as they began going towards Vic and Mike’s house.

“Becca, and if she’s getting the childhood she needs.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, I’m the only person she ever wants to be around. My baby sister is going into the first grade soon, and she hasn’t made a single friend. Like you said, all I do is baby her…”

“Tony, I-”

“My mom thinks so too. She says I have to stop giving in and giving Becca whatever she wants, because she won’t learn anything. I mean, I teach her value. But, maybe she needs to not be so dependent on me. Like you said, I’m not her dad.”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’d love to provide Becca for as long as I live. But that wouldn’t be good for her and-”

“Tony. Calm down. Becca is only five years old. She still has a long way before she’s able to care for herself. You and your mom are giving her everything she needs until she gets there. That’s how raising children works.. Your mom knows what it’s like raising a kid, she’s done it before.”

“Yeah, and look at how I turned out. That’s exactly what I’m talking about, Jaime. I don’t want Becca turning out ANYTHING like me. She’s better than that. She’s worth so much more than that.”

“Tony, there’s nothing wrong with you. You just don’t want Becca hating herself just like you hate yourself. You want her to love herself just as much as you love her. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with you. Becca will grow up and love herself because you’ve always surrounded her with nothing but love.”

“But-”

“But nothing. If Becca turns out like you, that’s a victory. Because you are the kindest, most caring and just all around greatest guy I’ve ever known. There’s nothing wrong with you, Tony. The only thing off about you is that you hate yourself too much, and you think you deserve it.”

Tony sighed and covered his face in his hands.

“That’s because I’ve never been told otherwise…”

“Was it Brendan?”

Tony looked up at Jaime and felt tears well up in his eyes and he nodded.

Tony took in a ball of air and covered his face again.

“What did he do to you, Tone?”

Tony felt the sobs come up his throat and choke him silently.

Hot tears fell quickly and Tony just cried in his seat.

The car was silent apart of Tony hiccupping for air.

Jaime pulled up in front of the address that was written on the note they had gotten earlier, and turned his car off.

“Tony, you can tell me.” said Jaime, his voice low.

Tony nodded and quickly wiped his tears away.

“But not right now.” Tony said, getting out of the car.

Jaime sighed and followed Tony out of the car.


	11. You said you want me, now I'm here

**_Italics are flashbacks or thoughts._**  
  
Tony got his guitar from the back and handed Jaime his bass. Tony slammed the trunk and waited for Jaime to lead the way to the door.  
  
“We’re going to talk about it eventually, Tony.” said Jaime with serious eyes.  
  
“Jaime,” Tony sighed, “I just really don’t even want to think about Brendan right now. We will talk about it later, I promise you. Just not now.”  
  
“Okay,” Jaime sighed and led Tony to the front door of the Fuentes’ house.  
  
“You’re going to make me knock, aren’t you?” Jaime asked Tony.  
  
Tony nodded and smiled at Jaime.  
  
Jaime rolled his eyes and knocked at the wooden door.  
  
They waited a moment before Vic opened the door and smiled.  
  
“Hey, We’ve been expecting you,”  
  
“I hope so,” Jaime replied.  
  
“Come in.” Vic said, opening the door more to allow them into the house.  
  
Tony and Jaime walk in to see an older woman sitting on the kitchen table, reading a magazine.  
  
“Victor, who was at the door?” She asked, not looking up.  
  
“Just a couple of friends, ma.” Vic replied, beginning to lead Jaime and Tony to the back of the house where Mike was waiting.  
  
“Friends? What friends?” She asks, getting up and walking towards the boys.  
  
Vic sighed and faced his mom.  
  
“New friends, ma. Mike and I make friends…” Vic said, obviously annoyed.  
  
“I know these boys…” Mrs. Fuentes said, pointing at Tony and Jaime.  
  
Jaime and Tony looked at each other confused, then at Mrs. Fuentes.  
  
“You’re Celia’s son, aren’t you? Celia who lives near the bypass.” She asked, gesturing towards Tony.  
  
Tony was surprised. Celia was his mother’s name.. and they did in fact live near the bypass.  
  
Tony nodded.  
  
“And you,” Mrs. Fuentes said, gesturing towards Jaime. “You and your mother take your little brother to soccer every Saturday at the community center.”  
  
Jaime, with the same surprised look that Tony had, nodded.  
  
“You two used to volunteer there, didn’t you?” Mrs Fuentes asked, “At the community center?”  
  
“Yeah, we don’t much anymore, though.” Jaime answered.  
  
“I’ve taken the boys there since Vic was born. But no they’re ‘too old for it’ apparently..” Mrs. Fuentes said, mocking her son’s tone.  
  
“Mom,” Vic groaned.  
  
“Alright, I’ll leave you alone,” She said, waving her hand, “These two are nice boys, Victor. You and Michael be kind.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah.” Vic rolled his eyes and continued to lead them.  
  
“She’s nice.” Tony said quietly and smiled.  
  
Vic shrugged as they entered a small addition to in the back of the house, filled with amps, and a variety of instruments.  
  
It was just Vic, Jaime and Tony in there. Mike was somewhere else in the house.  
  
Tony and Jaime looked around in awe.  
  
“My pops was a musician, still is… He just loves this kind of shit. He taught Mikey and I when we were like 14 or 15.”  
  
“What can you play?” Jaime asked.  
  
“Everything but the drums, pretty much.” Vic replied, “Guitars my forte, though.”  
  
“You?” Vic asked, referring to both Jaime and Tony.  
  
“Any guitar. I prefer bass, though.” Jaime began, “And I’m sure Tony only knows guitar.”  
  
Tony nodded and blushed in slight embarrassment.  
  
“That’s cool. Guitar’s fun.” Vic replied.  
  
  
Mike finally walked in with a smile.  
  
“Hey, you guys came!”  
  
“We said we would.” Jaime replied.  
  
Tony nodded and gave a small smile.  
  
“So, what are we talking about?” Mike asked.  
  
“I was about to ask these two where they learned their instruments. Since I told them dad taught us.” Vic answered.  
  
“I taught myself, actually. My uncle got my dad into it, and my dad got me into it. I haven’t seen my dad since I was pretty young… So I grew up and eventually taught myself.” said Jaime.  
  
“My grandpa taught me,” Tony said softly.  
  
“When did you learn?” Mike asked, looking at Tony.  
  
“15,” Tony replied.  
  
“17,” Jaime replied as well.  
  
“Well, we all seem experienced enough.” Mike smiled.  
  
“Yeah, so we could get started.” Vic said, sorting through music and lyric sheets spread across a messy desk.  
  
Tony and Jaime both retrieved their instruments from their respective cases.  
  
“Anyone need a pick?” Mike asked, walking towards the large bucket of picks they kept.  
  
Both Jaime and Tony shook their heads and put the straps over the shoulder.  
  
“Ah, Currents Convulsive.” Vic said, pulling out the sheet music for the song.  
  
“You guys alright with that decision?” Mike asked, taking a seat at his drum kit.  
  
Tony and Jaime nodded and got their picks out.  
  
“How did you two meet?” Mike asked.  
  
“I met Tony in a bathroom at a bar,” Jaime said, his voice made him sound as if her were joking.  
  
Tony smiled and giggled a bit.  
  
“Really?” Mike gawked.  
  
“Yeah, but it’s not what he makes it seem to be,” Tony answered, his voice quiet.  
  
“Oh. Jaime got me thinking you were a prostitute or something,”  
  
“Pays good,” Tony shrugged, jokingly.  
  
“So you two just saw each other in a bathroom and became friends?” Vic asked, raising his eyebrow.  
  
“Well, there’s more to it than that..” Jaime replied.  
  
“Like what?” Vic asked.  
  
Jaime looked at Tony, as Jaime was unsure whether or not he should tell them what happened.  
  
Tony replied, his voice barely above a whisper  
  
“Jaime saved my life,”

* * *

  
  
_Tony laid practically lifeless in the sterile white hospital room.  
  
The room stood silent, aside from the heart rate monitor.  
  
The constant and rhythmic beeping was the first thing Tony woke up to.  
  
Tony felt his throat and neck ache as he tried wiggling in his position.  
  
Tony winced as he felt the many tubes and needles that were stuck into his body.  
  
He felt tears prick at his eyes as the pain began to become overwhelming.  
  
He heard someone stir beside him.  
  
Tony rubbed his tired eyes and tried opening them slowly.  
  
He immediately regret that as his eyes were burned by the bright, hot hospital lights.  
  
“Turn off the lights,” He heard an unfamiliar voice whisper.  
  
The heart rate monitor continued to beep along with Tony’s heart, setting off the worst headache Tony had ever experienced.  
  
He could hear the blood pumping in his brain, vibrating throughout his body.  
  
His head was filled with the pain of each excruciating **thump thump thump  
**  
“Tony, sweetie.” He heard his mother’s loving voice say.  
  
Tony groaned and held his head in his hands.  
  
“Tony, baby, It’s okay. Do you want me to get a nurse?” His mother asked.  
  
Tony groaned again and clutched his head tighter.  
  
“Honey, open your eyes.” His mother soothed as she rubbed the top of his head in small, light circles.  
  
Tony let go of his head and took a deep breath in before he realized he was also hooked up to some oxygen.  
  
Tony tore the mask off of himself and sat up quickly.  
  
“Easy, easy.” His mother warned, her hand in the small of his back to help him.Tony opened his eyes and wasn’t blinded by the bright lights.  
  
He looked up in the dark hospital room at his mother.  
  
“Mom?” Tony croaked, his throat sore and impossibly dry.  
  
She handed him a plastic cup with cold water and he downed it quickly.  
  
“How are you feeling, baby?” She asked, Tony could hear the sadness in her voice.  
  
“My head hurts,” Tony whispered, rubbing his eyes again.  
  
“What happened, mom?” Tony asked. He hadn’t remembered a damn thing besides darkness.  
  
“I’ll get a nurse, maybe the doctor.” She said, standing up to leave the room.  
  
“No,” Tony said, grabbing her hand, “I don’t like it here, I want to go home. I want to see the baby.”  
  
“Becca is in the waiting room with papa, okay? She’s fine, Tony. You need to sit and wait while I get a doctor.” She replied, walking out of the room, and turning on the lights.  
  
Tony winced at the sudden exposure, and waited as his eyes adjusted.  
  
Tony looked down to see he was shirtless, with tubes and wires attached all along his arms.  
  
He, surprisingly, wasn’t in a hospital gown, just his own pants.  
  
Tony sighed and laid back into his bed before he noticed the figure beside him.  
  
He feared the worst, but turned to see an unfamiliar face.  
  
The stranger looked at him in awe.  
  
Tony looked back at him completely dumbfounded.  
  
“Do I-” Tony began  
  
“You don’t remember?” The stranger asked.  
  
Tony shook his head.  
  
A doctor walked in with Tony's’ mother and a warm smile.  
  
“Hello, Tony” The doctor said warmly.  
  
Tony crossed his arms over his bare chest and frowned.  
  
“Please take these out of me” Tony said softly, referring to the needles and tubes.  
  
“Some of them have to stay, actually.” The doctor replied with a small frown. Tony could tell she wasn’t really sad about it.  
  
“Why?” Tony asked.  
  
“What’s the last thing you remember?” The doctor asked Tony.  
  
Tony looked down at his lap. The last thing he remembered was Brendan leaving him.  
  
The last thing he remembered was Brendan saying  
  
“Maybe someone else will see you as a decent fuck, you whore. But I’m done with you. You got boring,” and him walking out of the door.  
  
That’s the last thing Tony remembered.  
  
“The last thing I remember was I put Becca down for a nap.” Tony lied, he had put Becca down for a nap right before Brendan came over.  
  
To break up with him, apparently.  
  
The doctor sighed.  
  
“Well, this gentleman here,” The doctor said as she pointed to the stranger in the corner, “Called emergency services to come save you late last night.”  
  
Tony looked at the stranger with a mixture of confusion and surprise.  
  
“What?” Tony asked, not taking his eyes off the guy.  
  
“Would you explain Tony why you called 911, Jaime?” The doctor asked the stranger, Jaime.  
  
“You were in the bathroom of a bar. You were locked in a stall crying. You were obviously drunk or sick. I asked if you were okay and you insisted you were… But I wasn’t letting it go, because you obviously were not okay.”  
  
Jaime sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He almost shuttered at the memory.  
  
“After waiting a bit for you, you came out of the stall.. You were stumbling and shaking, but you insisted you were okay. You couldn’t even stand straight, or walk. I noticed you had blood coming from your mouth. You were weak, and coughing up blood… I didn’t know if you knew, or if that was normal… But I had to get an ambulance to help you.”  
  
“So we sent emergency paramedics collect you and Jaime. You were examined and rushed to this hospital,” The doctor finished.  
  
Tony looked at the doctor.  
  
“What happened to me, though? I don’t understand.” But Tony did.  
  
He let his eating disorder go too far. He let it almost kill him. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  
  
“You threw up part your stomach lining and burned your esophagus up a bit.” The doctor explained.  
  
Tony’s mother covered her mouth and tears formed in her eyes.  
  
“You’re also critically malnourished. That’s why some of the tubes need to stay, sweetheart. You need to eat from a tube for a little while before you’re able to eat for real.”  
  
Tears formed in Tony’s eyes as he saw his mother fall to her knees.  
  
“Mom,” Tony whispered.  
  
“Mrs. Perry, please,” The doctor began and two nurses carefully escorted Tony’s mother to the hallway.  
  
Tony watched his mother break down in the hallway. Tears began to fall uncontrollably at that point.  
  
He hurt his mother to the point of tears.  
  
He could never forgive himself for that.  
  
“Tony, look at me.” The doctor said.  
  
Tony ripped his gaze from his mother and glued his eyes to his lap.  
  
Tony covered his crying eyes with his hands and sobbed into them.  
  
“Tony, when was the last time you ate something?” The doctor asked him.  
  
Tony squeezed his eyes shut as more tears fell.  
  
Tony sniffled and shrugged.  
  
“Tony, tell me, when was the last time you ate something?” The doctor asked again.  
  
“I don’t know!” Tony cried.  
  
He wasn’t lying. He didn’t remember the last time he ate a real meal.  
  
Brendan wouldn’t really let him eat meals anymore, even if he wanted to. But usually, he didn’t want to.  
  
Sometimes, he would shove food into Tony’s mouth, but Tony would end up purging anyway.  
  
The doctor looked at Tony with sad eyes and nodded.  
  
The doctor wrote something on her clipboard and called Tony’s mother back.  
  
Tony’s mother walked in with a tear stained, and absolutely devastated face.  
  
“Mom, Momma, I’m sorry,” Tony cried, looking up at his mother.  
  
Tony began sobbing and was apologizing to him mother in hysterics.  
  
“Shh. Shh. Tony, it’s okay. It’s alright, honey. You’re okay.” His mother soothed, hugging her bony son and kissing the top of his head.  
  
“I just can’t believe I didn’t notice.” She whispered, tears threatening to spill.  
  
“No, mom. It was me. I hid it from you. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have-”  
  
“Tony, enough,” The doctor said sternly.  
  
Tony’s mother sat beside Jaime, and took Tony’s hand into her own.  
  
“Tony, your BMI, or Body Mass Index, is below anorexic. You’re being diagnosed with both eating disorders bulimia and anorexia. You will begin critical recovery and rehabilitation, including physical and emotional therapy very soon. Mrs. Perry, if you’d come with me to further discuss Tony’s rehabilitation.” The doctor stood, and led Tony’s mother to the hallway.  
  
Tony sat alone with the stranger that saved his life.  
  
Tony looked at Jaime, who had his eyes glued to the floor.  
  
Tony thought for a minute, what to say to the guy who saved his life.  
  
“Thank you,” Tony said, as he concluded that was a good place to start/  
  
Jaime looked up at Tony and nodded.  
  
“You don’t have to, I wasn’t going to leave you in there to die.”  
  
“Yeah,” Tony shrugged, “But you could’ve. and you didn’t. So thank you.”  
  
“So you didn’t want to die?” Jaime asked.  
  
Tony shook his head.  
  
“I have before in the past. But I didn’t back in the bar.”  
  
“So you’re starting to remember the bar?”  
  
“Sort of, not a lot. I remember throwing up, and absolutely hating myself for it.”  
  
Jaime nodded at Tony’s response.  
  
“You’re better than that, you know?”  
  
“You’re worth more than that.” Jaime said.  
  
Tony smiled, looked down and shook his head.  
  
“You are,” Jaime repeated with a smile.  
  
“You don’t even know me,” Tony reminded, looking back up at Jaime.  
  
“I don’t have to,” Jaime replied.  
  
“Would you like to?” Tony asked, suddenly gaining confidence and trust in his new ‘friend’.  
  
“Love to,” Jaime replied.  
  
The two smiled at each other.  
  
“So, Jaime..?” Tony asked.  
  
“Yes, Tony?” Jaime answered, mimicking Tony’s tone.  
  
“What’s your favorite color?” Tony asked, earning a chuckle from Jaime._

* * *

  
Tony was brought back from the earliest memory of his dear friend.  
  
Tony smiled and answered,  
  
“Jaime here saved my life,” Tony repeated, clapping a hand on Jaime’s back “Thus, signing himself up for eternal friendship.”  
  
Tony looked up and smiled adoringly at Jaime, who smiled back and ruffled Tony’s hair.


	12. I wish that you could see, feel something or just believe

“See, you two are naturals.” Vic smiled and clapped a hand on Jaime’s back.

 

“Thanks,” Jaime smiled.

 

The four boys just finished their first day of learning Currents Convulsive.

 

And all four boys could all say that Jaime and Tony did pretty well.

 

“You guys did great.” Mike smiled.

 

“Thank you, Mike.” Tony blushed.

 

“Anytime, Tony.”

 

“It’s getting pretty late.” Jaime says.

 

Tony looks at his phone and nods.

 

“Yeah, we should get going.”

 

“You guys were awesome. Let’s meet tomorrow and perfect it, yeah?” Vic suggested.

 

Jaime and Tony agreed as they packed their instruments away.

 

“Yeah, that sounds great. We’re off earlier tomorrow.” Jaime replied.

 

Vic nods and smiles.

 

“Hime, I’m taking my case to your car.” Tony tells Jaime.

 

Jaime nodded and handed Tony his keys, then continued packing up sheet music.

 

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Tony says to Mike and Vic.

 

“Yeah, I’ll walk you out.” Mike says, walking with Tony.

 

Mike led Tony to the front of the house and put Tony’s case in Jaime’s car for him.

 

“Thank you,” Tony says with a smile and closes the trunk.

 

“Anytime.” Mike replies.

 

“Can I just say you and your brother are extremely talented?”

Mike shook his head.

 

“We’re alright,”

 

“No, you two were amazing. You don’t even miss a beat.” Tony insisted.

 

“You and Jaime are something, too. I swear, you and Jaime kill it.”

 

“We’re kinda new to this…” Tony shrugged.

 

Mike shrugged as well and replied,

 

“We all start somewhere, and you two happen to be great at what you do.”

 

Tony and Mike stood beside each other, facing the moon, leaning on Jaime’s car.

 

There was a silence for a beat until Mike asked.

 

“How long have you been with Prince James?”

 

“He’s not my Prince Charming, remember?” Tony asked satirically.

 

“He’s still the prince that swept you off your feet.” Mike replied.

 

Tony nodded.

 

“We’ve been together for four months.”

 

Mike nods, pushing the burning jealousy to the back of his head.

 

“And, and things are going well, I presume?” Mike asks.

 

Tony shrugs.

 

“He’s nicer than my last boyfriend.” Tony mutters.

 

“What was he like?” Mike asked, worry drowning out the jealousy, suddenly.

 

Mike scooted in closer to Tony, leaving less than an inch of space between the two.

 

Tony shook his head.

 

“He was… nothing.. He just… He just wasn’t very nice sometimes.” Tony shrugged again.

 

“Sometimes?” Mike repeated.

 

Tony nods.

 

“He was really sweet sometimes, but other times... he just wasn’t”

 

“And James?” Mike asked.

 

Tony looked up at Mike to speak, considering Mike was a tad taller than him.

 

“He’s nicer more. Everyone has their days, though.” Tony shrugged once more.

 

“But you should be treated right all the time.” Mike said softly.

 

Tony shook his head.

 

“You do, you deserve the best, Tony.” Mike insisted.

 

Tony sighed, not wanting to argue over his own self-worth.

 

“You’re like the best guy I’ve ever met. You deserve the best.” Mike repeated.

 

“You must know some shitty people, then.” Tony joked.

 

Mike silently scooted closer to Tony again, letting their arms brush.

 

“I do,” Mike chuckled, “Which is why knowing you gives me hope.”

 

Tony looked up at Mike, who was already looking down at him.

 

They had less than an inch of space between their faces.

 

Mike wanted nothing more than to close the space between them, and kiss Tony underneath the overly cliched moonlight.

 

And Tony wanted nothing more than to melt under Mike’s touch.

 

Mike was one to go for what he wanted, so he began to lean in.

 

Tony was the one to finally make their lips meet.

 

With Jaime and Vic

 

 

“You and Tony were great,” Vic said, wrapping up some loose wires.

 

“Thanks. You and Mike are crazy talented.” Jaime replied.

 

Vic shrugged.

 

“I mean, all those instruments?” Jaime asked in awe.

 

Vic shrugged once more.

 

“And you write your own lyrics?” Jaime asked.

 

Vic nodded.

 

“You’re a great song-writer. Like, scary good.”

 

“I’m glad you think so. Because if you and Tony agree to join the band…” Vic trails on.

 

“What?” Jaime asked.

 

“The four of us could write and album. It could sell worldwide, and you and Tony can have your beautiful faces on magazines someday.”

 

“You really think so?” Jaime asked.

 

“The four of us? As a team? We absolutely demolish the competition. I’ve never had a stronger lineup, I feel it. And I’ve been in and out of bands with Mike since We were in high school.”

 

“Well, this opportunity means a lot to us.” Jaime replies.

 

“To Mike and I, as well.”

 

“All Tony and I have ever really dreamed of is performing on stage in front of thousands of people”

 

“I know you have. We all have. And we could help each other get there. We can get each other to the tippy top.” Vic said with a wide smile.

 

“Thanks Vic.” Jaime said with a smile.

 

“Of course. Now, we’re still on tomorrow, right?” Vic asked.

 

“Definitely.” Jaime replied.

 

 

“Great, so… I’ll text you?” Vic asked

 

Jaime smiles and replies, “Yeah, okay.”

 

“I’ll walk you out,” Vic says and leads Jaime the way Mike led Tony.

 

The two are chattering about the best amps when they stop suddenly.

 

Jaime and Vic are shocked at the scene in front of them.

 

Tony pulled away from Mike and covered his mouth in shock.

 

Mike couldn’t help but smile.

 

Tony didn’t know what to think.

 

He just kissed Mike.

 

He just kissed Mike.

 

He just kissed Mike!

 

That’s when Tony felt guilt punch him in the face.

 

You have a fucking boyfriend, shithead. Tony heard in his head.

 

“Oh no,” Tony whispered with a shaky breath.

 

“Are we interrupting something?” Vic asked rhetorically with a chuckle.

 

“Tony, I-.. I..” Mike sputtered.

 

“Mike,” Tony could feel tears well up in his eyes.

 

He felt so bad for betraying James like that.

 

“Tony,” Mike began softly, looking at Tony, worried.

 

“Mike, I’m sorry… I-.. I can’t…” Tony shook his head.

 

“Tony,” Mike looked at Tony apologetically.

 

“I’m sorry,” Tony repeated and got into Jaime’s car.

 

Jaime put his bass in the back seat and, without a word, got into the car and drove off.

 

“What was that?” Jaime asked.

 

Tony sniffled.

 

“I don’t know! All I know is that I just kissed someone who isn’t my boyfriend!” Tony freaked.

 

“Tony, don’t worry about that. No one’s going to tell James that Mike kissed you.”

 

“But that’s the thing! I’ll know that I kissed Mike. and I can’t live with myself..” Tony sighed, burying his face in his hands.

 

“Don’t worry about that. Just… tell me what happened.”

 

Tony could feel a panic attack threaten him. Tony’s palms went sweaty and he started to slightly shiver repeatedly.

 

“Well,” Tony began, “We were just talking..”

 

With The Fuentes Brothers.

 

“What did I miss” Vic asked.

 

Mike sighed and raked a hand through his messy hair.

 

He couldn’t believe what he just did.

 

He just kissed a boy who had a boyfriend.

 

He just fucked up a friendship.

 

“What happened?” Vic asked.

 

“I fucked up, Vic.” Mike yelled.

 

“Calm down, Mike. What happened?” Vic repeated.

 

“We were talking, and I don’t know!” Mike yelled again, growing angry.

 

He really didn’t fully understand what happened.

 

“We were talking about James and he brought up his ex. And I was talking about how he’s a good person, and.. Vic, you know how I really liked Tony, well I really like him now… A-and.. I don’t know!”

 

“Calm down, Mike. It’ll be alright.”

 

“I kissed him, Vic!” Mike yelled once more.

 

“I understand that, but it’ll be okay.” Vic insisted.

 

“I just had to,” Mike said, his voice deflated. He looked down at the pavement.

 

“Mike,”

 

“He was just.. so beautiful… I had to… He was right in front of me… I couldn’t help myself…” Mike sighed.

 

“I know what you mean, Mikey.” Vic sighed as well.

 

With Jaime and Tony

 

"He was being so nice, Jaime..." Tony said defeated.

 

 

"He was bein nice to you, so you kissed him?" Jaime asked confused.

 

 

"He was being so nice, and so gorgeous. He was right there, Hime... He was so close... I had to... I had to kiss him..." Tony panicked.

 

"Did you like it?" Jaime asked.

 

"This is serious, Jaime!" Tony groaned.

 

"So am I!" Jaime insisted.

 

Tony thought silently for a moment.

 

Thinking back to the kiss made chills run down his spine, but cut off the shivers of anxiety.

 

Thinking back to the moonlit kiss allowed a smile to creep onto Tony's face.

 

Tony wiped the tears from his face and replied,

 

"It was perfect."

 

With The Fuentes Brothers

 

"Stop acting like you ruined everything!" Vic groaned as Mike paced back and forth on their porch.

 

"I did! I freaked him out!" Mike yelled.

 

"From what I saw, he was diggin' it, Mikey." Vic assured.

 

 

Mike shook his head.

 

"He was definitely kissing you back!" Vic insisted.

 

"But he has a boyfriend, Vic. Plus, we just met.. We haven't showed nothing but a professional interest before that very moment."

 

"And?" Vic asked.

 

"He's a had a rough past with boys, Victor. I know he has. I probably scared him, and ruined the foundation that out friendship was growing on."

 

"Listen to me, you haven't ruined anything. Jaime will talk to him, calm him down.. I'll talk to him.. It'll all be okay, Mikey... I promise." Vic assured.

 

"Don't promise me that," Mike groaned and buried his face in his hands

 

"I will, because I do. Tony's not an asshole. He's not going to let a dumb kiss ruin this. And you shouldn't either."

 

Mike sighed and walked back into the house.

 

(A/N Hope you like!)


	13. I don't want to feel a thing anymore

The Very Next Day

The two brothers sat in Vic’s car in front of Clairemont’s Guitar Center.

“Are you sure about this?” Mike asked as he adjusted the snapback on his head.

“Absolutely positive,” Vic replied with a wide grin as the car’s engine died down.

“I don’t know, man,” Mike sighed, “Maybe I should just give him some time to cool off or something.”

“And give him time to think you’re mad at him?” Vic asked rhetorically.

Mike sighed and sunk into his seat.

“Listen to me,” Vic began, turning to his brother, “You are going to lay low for a bit while I talk to the boys, alright?”

Mike looked at Vic, still unsure.

“We’ll fix this, I swear.” Vic said with a smile.

Mike nodded and unclicked his seat belt.

“Okay,” Mike exhaled.

“Alright,” Vic unclicked his seatbelt.

The two exited the car and slammed the doors shut.

Mike took in a deep breath and entered the store.

Vic followed shortly after as the bell signaled a customer had entered.

“Welcome To Clairemon- What are you two doing here?” Jaime began with a smile as he saw Mike and Vic.

“Here to talk business, Jaime.” Vic replied and approached Jaime at the counter.

And without a word, Mike went and checked out the store silently.

“What business?” Jaime asked.

Vic sighed.

“Where’s Tony?” Bic began as he noticed Tony wasn’t in the shop.

Jaime sighed and nodded towards the back of the shop.

“He’s talking to his boyfriend on the phone.”

Vic nodded.

“Well, that’s kind of what I needed to talk to you two about.”

“Tony’s boyfriend?” Jaime said confused.

“Not necessarily,” Vic shook his head.

“You wanted to talk about last night?” Jaime asked.

Vic sighed again and nodded.

“There’s not much to say, Vic.” Jaime sighed and began tending to mixtapes behind the counter.

“What do you mean?” Vic asked.

“They kissed,” Jaime shrugged, “So what?”

“Mike’s terrified, that’s what.”

“Of?”

“The fact that he and Tony were friends, just friends, before that happened. AND, Tony has a boyfriend.” Vic replied as if it were obvious.

Jaime shrugged once more.

“He shouldn’t be,” Jaime replied as he lifted a box of tapes onto the counter in front of him, “Tony’s over it, and Mike should be too.”

“Tony’s over it? Like, over it over it?” Vic asked.

“Yeah, they made a mistake. It’s not that big of a deal.” Jaime replied.

“That’s what I thought too, But Mikey..” Vic sighed.

“Look,” Jaime began, “How about when Tony’s done drooling over James, I’ll have him talk to Mike? Make him calm down.”

“Would you?”

“Of course,” Jaime shrugged once more as he sorted through the mixed tapes, “It’s the right thing to do.”

“Thanks, man.” Vic smiled.

Jaime returned a smile and nodded.

“I’ll go see if he’s done.” Jaime sighed, and turned to walk to the backroom.

Vic walked towards Mike with a grin.

“What? What happened?” Mike asked eagerly.

“He said Tony’s not bothered by what happened last night. And Jaime’s gonna have him tell you himself.” Vic replied.

Mike sighed in relief and smiled.

“I told you it wasn’t that big of a deal, Mike.” Vic clapped a hand on Mike’s back.

With Tony, Just Minutes before

“Hello?” Tony answered a call from an unknown number.

“Hey, Tone.” James chuckled on the other end.

“How are things on your end?” Tony asked.

“Things are… good. Very good.” James replied, “How about you and Jaime?”

“We’re fine,” Tony smiled.

“Fine? What’s wrong?” James asked.

“Oh, nothing… It just gets boring..” Tony shrugged.

“Well, I’m home soon enough to… entertain you,” James replied slyly. Tony could just hear the smirk on his face.

“Oh, don’t worry. I can manage on my own.” Tony teased.

“Oh, so you're not missing me?” James asked sarcastically.

“I’m thinking about it.” Tony exhaled.

“Well, don’t miss me too much. I won’t be gone much longer.”

“We’ll see,” Tony sighed.

“Hey, I’ll call you later tonight, okay?” James said softly.

“Alright,” Tony nodded.

“I love you,” James whispered.

“Love you too.” Tony sighed.

The line quickly went dead and Tony rubbed his tired eyes.

In the light of recent events, Tony hadn’t slept much at all last night.

Unfortunately, he was condemned to tossing and turning all night for kissing his friend.

Tony sighed at memory of last night. It was all he could think about.

His thoughts were quickly interrupted by loud knocking on the door.

Tony trudged to the backroom door and opened it. He was greeted by a giddy Jaime.

“Our friends are here,” Jaime whispered, closing the door behind him and pushing Tony farther into the room.

“They are?” Tony whisper-yelled, “What do they want?”

“Vic told me that Mike’s been freaking out over what happened last night,” Jaime explained in a whisper.

“Well, that’s great,” Tony replied sarcastically, “SO HAVE I.”

“I know, I know,” Jaime continued, “But I told Vic you were over it,”

“YOU DID WHAT?” Tony hit Jaime’s arm.

“Tony, just tell Mike it didn’t mean anything.. and we’ll all feel better about this… Okay?”

“You’re joking right,” Tony asked Jaime, looking for a hint that he was.

Jaime sighed and shook his head.

“You mean to tell me, I have to compromise my feelings to make him feel better?” Tony asked.

“Tone,” Jaime sighed.

“No,” Tony shook his head. “That’s fine.” Tony shrugged, his face indicating that it wasn’t.

Both were silent for a beat.

“Well, I’ll do that now, then. Whatever makes him happy,” Tony sighed, opening to door that leads back to the front of the shop.

“Tony,” Jaime stops Tony by grabbing his shoulder. “What are you doing?” Jaime sighed.

“Trying to do what you just asked me to,” Tony replied satirically, “Which you’ve just stopped.. So if you could just-” Tony persisted, and wiggled Jaime’s hand off of his shoulder.

“Why does that bother you?” Jaime asked, his voice timid.

“It doesn’t.” Tony replied, his voice dead.

“Clearly it does,” Jaime pointed out.

“Why would me having to totally disregard how I actually feel to make someone else feel better bother me? Huh? Why would that bother me?” Tony asked, his voice quizzical.

Jaime took in a ball of air and looked down at the floor.

“Right,” Tony scoffed, continuing his way to the front.

“Hey Tony,” Vic greeted.

“Hello, Vic.” Tony replied with a smile.

“Tony,” Mike said with a curt nod.

“Can I.. uh.. talk to you for a second?” Tony asked, biting his lip.

Mike hesitated for a second, swallowed hard then nodded.

Tony led Mike to the far corner of the shop, where Tony needed to sort vinyls.

Tony began to re-alphabetize the unsorted vinyls, almost ignoring Mike completely.

“So,” Mike stammered, “What did you want to talk about?”

“Last night,” Tony sighed, not looking up from the vinyls.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t worry about it, it was a mistake.. and I’m sorry.” Tony said, not really taking what he was saying seriously.

“No, it’s cool.” Mike insisted, his voice nervous.

“Yeah, so I wanted to be sure that you understood the situation.” Tony said, finally looking at Mike only for a second.

“What situation?” Mike asked.

Tony sighed and shook his head.

“Nothing. Just… we’re just friends and what happened last night won’t happen again and it didn’t mean anything,” Tony explained, his voice not as strong as he’d like.

Mike nodded, “Understood,” his voice threatened to quiver.

“Good,” Tony nodded.

“I- uhh. I’ll see you around?” Mike asked.

Tony nodded without looking up at Mike. He just couldn't bring himself to do it.

“Cool,” Mike sighed, and walked out of the shop.

Vic followed quickly after.

“What happened?” Vic asked.

Mike shook his head and got into the car, slamming the door

“Nothing, doesn’t matter.” Mike replied, his voice dead.

Tony sighed and raked his hand through his hair.

“Everything alright?” Jaime asked, appearing from the back of the store.

“Everything’s fine,” Tony replied coldly and walked past Jaime to the counter.

 

“Tony,” Jaime groaned.

“I cannot believe you made me do that,” Tony spat.

“I didn’t make you do anything,” Jaime retorted, following Tony to the counter.

“You may as well have,” Tony squinted his eyes at Jaime.

“Look, I’m sorry.” Jaime sighed, “I didn’t think it’d bother you as much.”

“It doesn’t bother me,” Tony shrugged  

“Then what is it, then?” Jaime asked, slightly annoyed.

“Nothing,” Tony shook his head.

“Whatever,” Jaime sighed and threw his hands up in surrender.

“When you’re ready to actually talk to me, let me know, alright?” Jaime scoffed and went to the back room.

Tony sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. How could he let it get like this?

 

(A/N this update is short sorry. ive just had a lot on my mind and not enough time. sorry i havent updated. sorry i kept you waiting. the demand pressured me into posting this. sorry.)


End file.
